Outcast
by Durandall
Summary: In At a Glance, we explored an alternate universe based on a physical disability. This story tries to accomplish the same thematic goals, while centering on social issues instead. Kyon and Haruhi meet in high-school, but this time around, something is different...
1. Part I

Outcast

A Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu fanfiction

by Brian Randall

Disclaimer: The series begun with the light novel 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi'/'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended with the creation of this work.

Note: Contains spoilers through book one. This specific fic is being written to try and accomplish the same goal as At a Glance, except using positive reinforcement instead of negative. That is, some felt that Kyon's role in AaG was lacking in compassion and his actions were manipulative. This is a try to appeal to people who felt that way without rewriting AaG. I hope everyone can enjoy it.

* * *

What measure is a dream? Not the collection of images that run through your brain when you sleep, recycling your experiences from the day for reasons that scientists still don't understand, but the more nebulous concept of goals. Some might dream to become politicians, or star athletes. Maybe they dream of being those same scientists who might eventually unravel the secret meanings to the other kinds of dreams.

But you can't put them all on the same scale.

Someone might dream of someday ruling the world, while someone else across the globe might have a dream of having rain feed the drying crops. Oh, sure, the future ruler of the world might immediately focus on solving the issues of the one who dreams of rain, but those aren't things you can put side by side.

So when you listen to dreams, at least in my view, you have to look at them all as separate things. Contrast, for instance, someone who dreams of going to school without being haunted by the distant past - things that happened before they were born - to someone who dreams of someday meeting aliens, sliders, time travelers, and that sort of thing, and then being able to set aside concerns like school entirely.

If you compare them, unfavorable conclusions could be drawn; the one who wants to go to school may be aiming too low. The one who wants to ignore school entirely may be aiming too high.

However, if a dream is just a dream, is there any reason to think that one is 'better'? They're different for different people, and that's probably entirely fine.

After all, Martin Luther King Jr. had a dream a decade and a half before I even attended high school, and who wants to compare theirs to that?

Given the choice, I'd give up mine to help his come true.

It was with those sorts of thoughts, the pretension and pride of someone who has completed middle school without undue problems, that I went on to Kitago.

The school was newly built, only having opened the previous year. I supposed that meant that all of the seniors must have transfered in, last year if not the year before. The idea of everyone coming together from elsewhere in the city suited me well. The opening ceremonies were brightly lit thanks to a sunny day, and filled with the chatter of excited students.

In short, I could not envision things being much better than they were. My new uniform, as clean as every other students', made me one of a vast group, and I saw more than a small number of familiar faces from my middle school.

I couldn't help but be pleased at the way things were going. After all, even if the climb up the hill just to reach the school depleted my energy, it was a small obstacle compared to what my parents had endured, or their parents before them!

In fact, I thought everything would be so sickeningly bland that I wouldn't even realize that the first month of school had passed until I looked back at it, complaining of homework, but unable to truly regret it.

This did not quite happen.

When our homeroom teacher, a handball fanatic with a practiced smile, had us go through our introductions, I finished my own. Confident that nothing else out of the ordinary would happen, I sat down.

And behind me, a student that I would not have singled out in any way beyond being pretty slammed her hands to her desk as she rose to her feet. Her chair skated noisily behind her and banged against the next desk behind her, thanks to her excitement. I couldn't help but turn around as she drew in her breath, puffing out her chest and crossing her arms as her eyes flashed and she declared: "From East Middle School, I am Suzumiya Haruhi!"

Her flashing gaze targeted me for a lingering moment, before sweeping on to the rest of the class as she continued, "Normal humans do not interest me! If you are - or know of - aliens, time travelers, extra-dimensional travelers, or espers, then report to me! That is all!"

The entire class was stunned by her outburst, but she just snorted quietly and dropped back to her seat, her gaze sweeping to me.

I couldn't help but feel like I was staring into the sun under the intensity of her gaze, so quickly looked away.

That was our introduction.

* * *

Later that day, on a break between our teachers making their introductions, I turned around to regard Suzumiya Haruhi. Her eyes were already locked on mine, her expression wary.

"Did you really mean all of that?" I had to wonder.

Her eyes flashed. "Of course!" she snapped. "Are you an alien?"

...that's not what I was. "No."

"Esper?"

Not that, either. "Not that I know of."

"From another dimension? Time traveler? Onmyouji?"

"None of those things," I said, feeling uncomfortable under the intensity of her gaze.

Her response was an irate scowl, almost a sneer.

"You're ... not really answering my question," I tried in a pathetic appeal.

Grumbling, she turned her face away, resting her chin on one small fist. "I am, absolutely," she said after I had started to think she was going to ignore me. "Normal people are completely uninteresting."

Given a choice, I'd take 'uninteresting' over some alternatives, but what was with this girl?

I couldn't understand her behavior at all.

* * *

As the next few days covered our introduction to the faculty and the opening ceremonies, I found ample opportunities to observe Suzumiya Haruhi.

During the track events, she demonstrated that she had the potential for a top athlete. The school uniforms weren't terribly modest, either, so it was equally clear that she could probably get almost anyone she cared to as a boyfriend. That wasn't my motivation for watching her, but the same observation drew the attention of one of our classmates from the same middle school as her.

While Taniguchi would rather have hid in the shade and skipped as many events as possible, the majority of students were participating. I had no great desire to stick out that much, and so he put up with something he'd rather avoid, just to share his wisdom with me.

Kunikida, a former classmate from my own middle school joined us, at the edge of our year's group.

Pitching his voice low to avoid being overheard by any nearby girls, Taniguchi assessed, "Suzumiya looks good, but it's not worth the trouble. Instead, turn your gaze to the adorable Asakura Ryouko! Now that's a girl I'd like to date!

"Other than her fine physical form, she's intelligent, has the maximum possible charm points, and is a shining example of a traditional girl! She's the iconic 'Yamato Nadeshiko'! Without question, I rate her an 'A plus plus.'"

I couldn't help the prickle of irritation that such a scale produced. "Really," I drawled flatly. "Have you graded all of the girls, then?"

"Yep!" Taniguchi said with pride. "And I memorized the names of all the 'A's and better!"

Kunikida, able to tell I was getting tired of Taniguchi's pride already, contributed, "Kyon doesn't like the idea of people being excluded."

Taniguchi blinked at this, looking confused. "What? But Suzumiya's trouble! That's all I'm saying. I've been stuck in classes with her for three years before this one, so I should know!"

"If it's a judgment you made from knowing her that long, it's one thing," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "But what about those other girls who didn't pass your muster?"

"Well, Kyon has this thing for weird girls," Kunikida offered, shrugging himself. "In middle school, when there was a girl who was standoffish and didn't really fit in, he decided to befriend her anyway."

"Was she cute?" Taniguchi asked, raising his eyebrows.

Kunikida rubbed his forehead and sighed. "The point of this is that I suspect that Kyon, being Kyon, is going to try and befriend Suzumiya the same way."

Taniguchi looked upon my mildly irate expression with something akin to horrified awe. "Kyon," he said, incidentally letting me know that the nickname Kunikida had brought up was going to stick, "you are seriously taking one for the team. Okay! I will tell you everything I know in order to help you with your quest!"

I wasn't sure I wanted that help! I wasn't sure about the nickname, either, but I'd take it over forced formality. You win some and you lose some, I suppose.

"Well, it's just information," Kunikida offered kindly. Ever the peace-maker... "Take what you can use and otherwise make your own judgments, Kyon!"

"We'll see," I allowed, shaking my head. "If she's that cold to everyone, then I'll just be wasting my time, wouldn't I?"

"That's right!" Taniguchi said, nodding quickly.

The idea of agreeing with such a sentiment so quickly spurred me to give Suzumiya more of a chance, just to be contrary to Taniguchi's approach.

* * *

I spent some time after that observing the enigmatic Suzumiya Haruhi in her native habitat. Taniguchi offered up his own opinions, but I decided I couldn't take anything he said at face value.

Other than that, since we'd spoken once, I tried to make it a daily habit to have at least one verbal exchange with her. For all of her indifference to 'normal people,' she never told me to leave her alone, which I decided to take as a sign that I was making progress.

On the other hand, I could have been entirely wrong, and it was simply that no one else understood how to approach her on her own terms.

The girls in the class would try and draw her into discussions on their own from time to time. Their topics didn't seem to interest her when they talked about the latest television shows they'd seen, but sometimes instead of giving them a cold brush-off, she even got worked up.

There was an exchange that went something like this:

"Suzumiya-san, did you see the latest episode of Conan: Boy From the Future? It seemed like something you might enjoy!"

"That's so stupid," she retorted. "Who would want to watch such a pessimistic show? Civilization advancing and nearly destroying itself before they achieve anything remarkable, or contact aliens? No one should waste their time watching something like that!"

Then the girl that Suzumiya had rebuked would slink away, not likely to try again.

Another would try something like this:

"Ah, Suzumiya-san, did you hear about the new Lupin III movie they're releasing next year?"

"What about it?" she returned guardedly.

"You haven't heard? It was a very popular show! They're going to release a movie and a whole new season next year! It's about this legendary thief, and-"

"I've heard about it," Haruhi said flatly. "If it doesn't feature powerful sorcerers or amazing feats of supernatural strength, what's the point? I certainly wouldn't waste my time watching them. Some simple thief? Bah!"

"I...is that ... so?" yet another girl laughed uneasily, before retreating.

I had no input on this myself, as my family did not actually own a television worth watching anything on. Some days, when my father was home from his job at the factory, we would crowd around the small black and white screen and watch - more listen - to the baseball games. Beyond that, it couldn't really hold my interest.

The only girl who never gave up was Asakura Ryouko. Her attempts were milder, and in return, Suzumiya simply ignored her instead of giving her the brutal dismissal she offered everyone else. Really, Asakura Ryouko's attempts underscored her traditional nature - her ability to brush aside almost any slight for the greater harmony of the class. And so, Suzumiya seemed to tolerate her and no one else.

Aside from me, I supposed.

It didn't hurt that after Asakura Ryouko was made class representative and our seats were reassigned, I kept my own position sitting right before Suzumiya. It was a very nice seat, though, so I couldn't complain too much.

Aside from keeping myself from just dismissing her out of hand, like Taniguchi seemed to.

* * *

There were other details, too - Suzumiya changed her hair every day, using a different number of colored headbands and putting them up in a different number of ponytails. Or braids. Or...

So one day, not long after her rejection of joining the other girls for their small film festival, I asked her what it meant.

She turned to stare at me as though unable to believe I had dared to broach the subject. As uncomfortable as that made me, feeling almost as though I was on the wrong side of the incident at Honno-Ji, I asked, "Why do you change your hair every day? I've noticed a pattern, but is it to attract the attention of aliens?"

"When did you notice?" she asked.

"Hmm, a while back." Though, in truth I had only figured out the pattern recently.

Shaking her head, she fell into her habit of ignoring my question and asking one of her own, returning, "Have I met you before somewhere, a very long time ago? Maybe with your sister?"

"How did you know I have a sister?" I asked in surprise. I mean, I wasn't trying to hide it, but how did she find out?

Her eyebrows rose. "Keeps her hair back with a ribbon, just a little shorter than you?" She held one hand at the level of her own head to indicate the relative height of this theoretical sister.

"Much shorter than me," I answered. "She's about that height standing up."

Suzumiya grimaced at that, looking irritated. "Girlfriend?" she pressed.

I didn't have one of those. The closest thing to that ... no, she hadn't used a ribbon for her hair anyway. "Nothing of the sort," I replied, frowning.

"And you don't have a gakuran style high school uniform anyway, do you?" she concluded with a sigh, eyes hooded.

The official Kitago uniforms for boys looked nothing like the traditional somewhat military-styled outfit that many other schools used. Why should she even ask that? "What is this all about?" I finally asked. "You never really answered my question."

Blinking again, as though she had tasted something particularly foul, she bit out, "I think every day has a different feel." Then she launched into an explanation about the significance of the colors of her hair ties, which I had missed. I only caught the significance of the number of points.

I wondered if what I said had any impact on her at all, really. After that, I spent all of Golden Week doing part-time work with Taniguchi, and getting even more tired of his incessant nattering. But when we came back from that working vacation and returned to class, I found she had cut her hair short.

As drastic a change as that was, especially if it was due to my remark, I could only offer, "I think long hair suited you, but that's a nice look, too."

She gave me a scowl in return, saying nothing.

And that was more or less how our days went.

* * *

One day, I asked, "Is it true you've tried out and quit every club?"

"Yes, and they were all _awful_," she grumbled, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Well, I should probably join a club, myself," I said aloud. "If you find a good one, you'll let me know, right?"

She gave me an odd look at that, but ultimately agreed, "Fine - I will!"

"I was in a study group in middle school," I added thoughtfully. "It wasn't any fun, but I suppose it was better than nothing."

"Is your math bad?" she asked, sounding bored. "You're probably the top student for history in this class."

"History is important to me," I answered. "We learn from our mistakes, or we're doomed to repeat them."

"I'd rather just avoid making the mistake in the first place."

"An excellent idea. I try and learn from the mistakes of others, myself."

"Hmm," she mused, unimpressed.

It was true, though. While I suspected that Suzumiya was just as good at me, or could be if she cared, I had become the history teacher's favorite student. I wasn't striving for the distinction, and I didn't really want to stand out, but I could accept being known for being good at one small thing without too much difficulty.

Not content to leave things like that, I asked, "What kind of club are you looking for, anyway?"

"Something amazing," she replied without hesitation, getting worked up and sitting bolt upright, fists on the desk before her as she scowled in determination. "Something _phenomenal_! Something truly _radical_!" Then her eyes narrowed. "So! What does your history say about that?"

What could it? "This school is only in its second year of normal operation," I offered with a shrug. "However, if the concept for such a club existed already, undoubtedly this amazing and phenomenal club would have branches across the country, and a longstanding tradition stretching back to the occupation."

"Are you saying that in the three decades since World War Two, every type of club that can be formed already has?" she challenged me, her gaze hardening.

Why would this be so important? "Not every type," I answered. "Thinking about things, there's the 'Electronics Research Society.' Isn't that new and cutting edge? They're always finding and trying to make the latest devices you can imagine!"

"They are not amazing," she returned acidly. "The things they make are all copied from instructions in magazines. They may make useful things, but themselves? Nothing they make or use helps an important project like SETI! Don't even get me _started_!"

Before she could go off on a tirade about them, and in fact following her suggestion to 'not get her started,' I continued, "Anyway, the point of it all is that if such a club existed, you would have discovered it in your searching. I believe it's safe to say that if you haven't, it's because this club doesn't exist. Perhaps some day, or even in some distant land, some remarkable person will come along and pioneer something that suits you - but until then, I don't believe you'll find it.

"Isn't it better for unremarkable, average people like us to enjoy what's already available instead of becoming discontent and asking for even more? We must respect proper bounds and know our limits to avoid overreaching, after all."

I felt that this speech was, for me, especially eloquent, so sat back, satisfied with my delivery.

Suzumiya was giving me a look that was difficult for me to discern, looking simultaneously amazed and disgusted, her mouth hanging open a short distance as she stared.

Shrugging, I turned back to face the front of the class, thinking that was the end of it.

* * *

It was not, in fact, the end of it.

After lunch, when I was fighting the exhaustion of boring math lessons, as well as the more pleasant tiredness of enjoying a filling meal of rice and vegetables, my dozing was interrupted by Suzumiya hauling my seat backward, nearly knocking me to the floor. "I've got it!" she shouted loudly enough to rattle me. "Kyon! That's a great idea!"

I found my balance, needing to climb to my feet as my chair finally fell over, clattering to the floor. The entire classroom, including Saotome-sensei, were all staring at us blankly. Aoyama-sensei, the history teacher, would have liked me well enough to overlook it with a pointed cough.

No such luck here.

"Suzumiya-san," I replied, turning to look at her. "This is the sort of matter that can wait until after class, is it not?"

She stared at me in annoyance as I indicated the rest of the classroom, then righted my seat and took it once more.

Saotome-sensei cleared his throat loudly, and I was spared as he determined that Suzumiya was more worthy of admonishment than I. "Suzumiya," he said flatly, drawing her gaze to him. "Buckets. Hall. Now."

The class drew in a low murmur of breath as Suzumiya snorted indifferently, not hesitating a second to grab the buckets from the cleaning supplies and march out into the hall.

Saotome-sensei was not a teacher to get on the wrong side of. While I had no doubt that Suzumiya could withstand it...

Should I have been happy I was overlooked? I felt bad for Suzumiya, more. She was enthusiastic about it and ... stuck out. And the nail that sticks out gets pounded down.

When she came back, in the brief window of time we had before our next teacher started lessons, I had to ask, "Do your hands hurt?"

"Nothing I haven't handled before," she dismissed breezily. "They're stiff for a bit, but it's not that bad. You never know your own limits until you've tried such a thing! Do you think you could handle that trial, Kyon?"

I didn't really want to find out, actually. Such tenacity, though...

* * *

When the next break came, I had to take a look at the buckets that Suzumiya had put in the back of the classroom. I could see then that she hadn't done it half-heartedly, either - she had actually filled them with water, and probably held them for the entire remainder of the class!

Despite everything, her spirit wasn't bent in the slightest. A little bit, I had to admire her resolve!

Other than a few seconds flexing her hands before she ran off, she didn't show a sign of the ordeal. I would have been tempted to follow her to ask her more, if the proper and considerate Asakura Ryouko hadn't cornered me, a look of concern on her face.

"Kyon-kun," she said sternly. "No one else has had any luck reaching out to Suzumiya-san. Therefore, since she seems to listen to you in some ways, I'll look to you to speak to her on our behalf! Understood?"

"I feel like the Dutch, suddenly," I answered with a sigh.

Asakura Ryouko giggled at that, steepling her fingers beneath her chin. "Just so~! As Suzumiya-san repels everyone else from her borders, we will rely on you to host communications with her, like the isle of Dejima!"

"Great," I sighed. "I'm pioneering a new form of rangaku."

Taniguchi turned to stare at us, looking confused at our references to historical events.

Perhaps pitying him, and perhaps just finding the situation amusing, Kunikida translated it plainly: "They're making the comparison that Suzumiya-san is as closed as Japan's borders were, centuries ago."

"So Kyon's like Admiral Perry?" Taniguchi returned, scratching his head.

"No," I sighed. "When our borders were closed, the shogunate still allowed trade through the Dutch. They also allowed information from the outside world, especially sciences and such, to come through. This type of learning was called 'rangaku.' It's frequently suggested that it's thanks to this our country was able to adapt and modernize as quickly as it did, once Admiral Perry actually _did_ force the borders open.

"Going on what our honorable class representative is suggesting, my role is now going to be maintaining those communications with Suzumiya."

"So then, thank you, Kyon-kun!" Asakura Ryouko said, her cheeks dimpling as her smile widened and she gave me the full formal traditional bow from the waist at ninety degrees.

Refusing such a traditional girl such an earnest request would undoubtedly earn me the scorn of my classmates, so I had no choice but to accept.

Turning to Taniguchi she added, "Taniguchi-kun, you should apply yourself to your studies better!"

"Will you study with me?" he asked hopefully.

I shook my head. Just like that, I was pushed into taking that role? What would Suzumiya think of that? I resolved that I had to ask her.

I never got a chance to ask, as it turned out.

On our next break, Suzumiya grabbed my hand before I could say anything, and with inhuman strength hauled me across the campus at a breakneck pace. We ended up coming to a halt in a stairwell leading to the roof, currently empty of anything but the faintest lingering traces of cigarette smoke.

"Okay!" she declared from the top of the stairs, gazing straight into my eyes. "Based on your suggestion, we're going to form a club!"

"We ... are?" I returned, not expecting that.

"That's right! You said it yourself - such a club as the one I want doesn't exist - so we obviously have to make it ourselves!" she proclaimed, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world.

* * *

The rest of my class was spent wondering what Suzumiya had in mind instead of actually focusing on my lessons.

Once they let out, Suzumiya barked an order at me to be prepared, and I sighed and trudged my way down to the office. Evidently, the paperwork was my responsibility. Since history and records were my forte, naturally, wasn't paperwork as well?

So I gathered the requisite forms and went home to pore through the details.

I had agreed I'd join whatever club she found that was worthwhile, but this was not what I had expected! According to the school's policy, a club needed five members, a teacher to act as a sponsor, and a charter, unless it were a type of club that were already recognized by the school - like a study group, or a sports club.

That meant we were three members, a charter, and a sponsor short. I wasn't eager to rely on my 'favored student' status with Aoyama-sensei to get him to sign, but if nothing else could be done, that would be an option.

Wrangling the charter from Suzumiya would be a better first step, I determined.

That thought in mind, I finished my homework and went to bed. Sleep was elusive, and I couldn't help but make more comparisons. The Edo period was when the isolationist policy that Asakura Ryouko compared to Suzumiya's stance on the rest of the class was established. Other systems were established then, too, and I was not at all a fan of some of them.

Considering some of the problems that followed families like mine from that time, I don't know that I could be blamed.

And while Asakura Ryouko seemed to be trying to unify all of her classmates into a cohesive whole, much like Tokugawa Ieyasu when establishing that period...

I tried to put such worrisome thoughts from my mind and simply sleep.

But it was a long time coming.

* * *

The following day, when I got to class, Suzumiya was waiting for me, her dour expression lighting up into a grin as she set eyes upon me. I actually froze and looked behind me, to see if some oni or space alien were standing behind me ... but no, that smile seemed to be targeting _me_.

How strange that was.

"Did you get the paperwork?" she asked without greeting me, once I reached my seat.

"Yeah," I sighed. "We're missing three more people and a charter."

"That's fine, that's fine," she said dismissively. "I can handle more members! So you can write up the charter!"

"It would help to know what our club is actually about, though," I countered, frowning. "I can't very well write a charter when I don't even know what you've got planned ... and anyway, we also need the signature of a teacher."

She blinked at that, scowling. "We need a sponsor, too?" she grumbled, shaking her head in annoyance. "Saotome-sensei's irritated at me, still. Well, maybe we can convince him anyway. So I suppose I'll have to handle _that_, as well!"

Sighing, I offered, "If you can write a reasonable charter, I will take it to Aoyama-sensei."

Suzumiya immediately perked up at hearing that. "Very well!" she agreed magnanimously, gracing me with a smile I would more have expected from the proper and traditional Asakura Ryouko. "He adores you, so that should be fine! Three more members and the charter? That should be no problem! I'll get a club room for us at lunch, and handle those parts! Excellent work, subordinate!"

"Just like that?" I had to wonder. I wasn't sure I liked being a subordinate, especially to Suzumiya ... but I didn't feel like she was crossing any lines she shouldn't have, yet.

"Just like that!"

Well, if she had that much confidence...

* * *

After class, I was hauled immediately off by Suzumiya once more, to Kunikida and Taniguchi's undisguised amusement. The only small consolation I had was Asakura Ryouko giving an approving nod to me, though it was tempered with a look of concern toward Suzumiya. This time, instead of dragging me to the stairwell to the roof, I was allowed to slide to a halt before a clubroom.

I felt like a trespasser in such a building - as I recalled, it was completed only this winter, the final addition to the school. The floors were immaculate, and the nameplates of most clubs were, too. Some of them were handwritten notes on card-stock, probably awaiting their more permanent replacements, like the 'electronics research society' one door down. The room we stopped before had a painstakingly hand-inked card reading, 'literature club.'

"Not that I have any objections on principle," I said slowly, eying the sign, "but there seems to be a problem insofar as this room is already claimed."

She ignored me and opened up the door. "This will be our headquarters!" she proclaimed, like a conquering daimyo, surveying her newly claimed territory. Almost as though she knew what image she had put into my head, she crossed her arms over her chest and smiled in satisfaction.

Scanning the room, I saw a pair of bookshelves with a very small number of books present, a filing cabinet, and a long table with a chair at it, occupied by a diminutive slip of a girl. Her thick rimmed glasses caught the light as she tilted her head to regard us briefly.

"Never mind 'seems' to be taken - this room is clearly occupied," I said to Haruhi quietly.

"It's fine, it's fine," she dismissed my concern, uncrossing her arms to wave a hand. "I asked earlier - she'll be a silent character supporting us."

"Really?" I had to wonder. "And you..." I paused. Who was this girl, anyway? She was probably in our year, wasn't she?

"Nagato Yuki," she whispered demurely, before turning her attention back to her book.

I glanced at the title. 'Stranger in a Strange Land'? It must be engrossing. I had no idea what it was about, but couldn't help but admit some resonance with the title, between her and Suzumiya.

"Well, Nagato Yuki-san, you don't have any problems with Suzumiya-san taking over your room and using it for..." I had to trail off. I didn't even know what she was actually planning!

Nagato's response was a quiet, clipped, "It's fine."

"There!" Suzumiya declared triumphantly. "So, we will be using this space! Kyon, be sure to meet here after school every day from now on!"

And then, without waiting for a word of confirmation, she whirled and dashed away.

Alone with Nagato Yuki, I scratched my head and sighed. "Well ... in any case, thank you for your patience, Nagato-san. If it becomes a difficulty, please be sure to let us know immediately," I said earnestly.

"It is fine," the quiet girl replied again, once more tilting her head to eye me through those glasses.

"Then ... I suppose that I'll see you tomorrow," I said, somewhat lamely.

Her head shifted the tiniest distance in response. Was that a nod? If the light coming through her glasses hadn't changed, I wouldn't have even caught it.

With nothing else to do, once her attention drifted back to the page before her, I silently excused myself and went home.

* * *

The following day, after class finished and Suzumiya raced out, I sighed and gathered my things. At the time, I couldn't feel any sense of urgency.

Taniguchi and Kunikida approached, the pair of them looking excited about something or other. "Kyon!" Taniguchi called. "I have some money left over from working through Golden Week. You must as well, right? So Kunikida and I are headed down to the train station - they've installed a new arcade cabinet in that little cafe nearby!"

Hmm? Video games were interesting to watch, but I didn't have the spare change to play. Asking to borrow from either Taniguchi or Kunikida didn't much appeal to me.

"It's called 'Space Invaders,'" Kunikida added. "It just got put in a day or two ago - when I saw it, there was a line of people waiting to try it out. We'd best hurry to avoid having to wait forever!"

As much as I'd like to hang out and just blend in, I'd rather not spend money to do it. That all said, I shrugged weakly, using the excuse that Suzumiya had conveniently handed to me. "I've been drafted into some club by Suzumiya-san," I apologized. "Who knows what might happen if I were to be too late?"

The pair of them stared in surprise for a moment, before Taniguchi's expression fell slightly. "I'm honestly not sure how to feel about that," he said, almost in an aside. "I think I should say thanks for falling on that sword for the rest of us, Kyon!"

Kunikida winced at the other boy's remark, giving me an apologetic smile. "Some other day, then," he said with a shrug.

I nodded back as he followed Taniguchi out the door, then walked to the club room we were going to be sharing with Nagato Yuki. When I got there, it was just me and that silent girl.

"Hello, Nagato-san," I greeted her somewhat awkwardly. When I checked, the book title was different, this one reading 'A Gift from Earth.' "A new one already?"

Looking up silently, she gave another of her incredibly small nods.

"Do you enjoy it?" I asked, pulling up one of the other folding chairs in the room and unfolding it to sit opposite her.

"Unique," she answered.

I supposed she wasn't the talkative type. Well, what else was there to do, then? Perhaps I could ask to borrow one of the books she'd finished?

Before that thought could go much further, the door crashed open. I really thought Suzumiya should go a little easier on the furnishings! This building was brand new, after all!

"It can take it," she returned without hesitation, hauling in a wide-eyed and unfamiliar girl, then turning around, slamming the door shut, and locking it.

"What's going on here?" the new girl whimpered. I hadn't seen her before, but she was very pretty, and looked on the verge of tears. She might have been older, too - was she an upperclassman? I was certain that she would have made Taniguchi's 'list' if she were in our year. "Why are you locking the door?"

I rose to my feet, frowning, and Nagato shifted in her seat to watch.

"I've detained this girl to join our club!" Suzumiya proclaimed proudly, crossing her arms over her chest as she leaned against the closed door and grinned.

"Wah," the new girl half-yelped, shying away and bumping into the table. Since I was already standing, I moved the two steps necessary to catch the girl when she stumbled. "Eee!" she cried, freezing up.

I was stuck in the awkward position of holding her arms, unable to let her go until she found her footing. Suzumiya's smile faded, but she quickly grinned, evidently thinking I was holding the other girl still just for her benefit. Without hesitation, she leaped forward, cupping the other girl's face in her hands.

"Look at this!" Suzumiya cheered. "This is Asahina Mikuru-chan! She's got a cute, incredibly youthful face, doesn't she? And a knockout body like this-"

Before her hands could descend further, I gently lowered the trembling Asahina-san to the floor, incidentally shielding her with my body. I couldn't think of any other way to help her.

"Suzumiya-san," I said flatly, releasing the older girl and standing straight once Suzumiya was thwarted. At my feet, upperclassman whimpered and curled into a ball. "What exactly are you trying to do?"

"Have you seen her chest?" Suzumiya returned in indignant disbelief. "It's _huge_! I'm almost jealous of it!"

I had no idea where to even begin with that violation of personal space. Pressing one hand to my face in irritation, I remarked, "You don't need to use your hands to _see_, Suzumiya-san."

"Right," Suzumiya agreed suddenly, grinning, evidently distracted. She marched around me and the still-sniffling upperclassman. "Visual arts are entirely the focus here!"

I turned to stare at her, still uncertain where this whole thing was going. "What are you on about?" I had to wonder.

"It's about..." Suzumiya began slowly, rummaging through her schoolbag before releasing another triumphant cry. "Aha~! This!"

And then she held aloft a device I hadn't ever seen before, and couldn't identify, except that it seemed to fold up into a small rectangular box, with a smaller raised square section atop it. "Some alien machinery?" I asked, confounded.

"No, but that's a good idea," she answered, unfolding it and snapping various pieces into position carefully. It took her less than a minute to transform it into something that looked like a ... camera? My mother owned a camera, but it was shaped nothing like that device. Suzumiya then loaded some flat panel-like thing _into_ the camera, and asked, "Now you get it?"

"It's a camera, isn't it?" I asked, just to be sure.

"Right, right," she agreed, moving back around the table and handing it to me. I had only gotten to hold my mother's camera a few times, and only she and my father knew how to operate it, so I had to stare at the device in fascination, turning it about a few times before accidentally pressing a button-

There was a blinding flash and grinding noise, and Suzumiya snatched it away. "Hey!" she snapped. "That film isn't cheap!"

"Ah," I managed, blinking as my eyes teared up. "I didn't expect that."

"Then never mind the idea of _you_ taking the pictures," Suzumiya groused. "Honestly..." When I finished regaining my eyesight she showed me a rectangular card with a square inset into it. That square ... seemed to have what looked like an impression of me staring down at it in consternation. As my eyes cleared, the picture itself seemed to sharpen.

"An instant camera?" I asked in realization. It wasn't my eyes clearing, it was the photograph actually developing!

"Yes," she said dryly. "And if you've never seen or used one before, I don't have the time to show you how to use it properly anyway." Shaking her head, she muttered, "I swear, what small village did you come from before moving to Nishinomiya?"

She wasn't looking at me to catch the way I flinched at that. It was probably just an offhand remark, but even so...

Her focus was instead on the picture I'd accidentally taken, and she made a face before shoving it into her school bag, grumbling about the waste of film. "Anyway! With this, Asahina Mikuru-chan - ah, I'm just going to call you Mikuru-chan-"

"Eh?" the upperclassman managed from where she had sat up on the floor, and was watching us with wide eyes. "N-no, I don't..." She trailed off as Suzumiya raised her eyebrows expectantly. For whatever reason, Asahina-san's eyes went past her, and locked with Nagato-san's. "I ... see," she said slowly.

Shaking her head, Suzumiya set the camera on the table and then raised a single finger in the air, swinging it in a slow circle as she explained, "We're going to get those useless electronics people next door to build something worthwhile for us - I know they've got a small pile of oscilloscopes, so we'll have them make an electronic telescope! I'm sure they have magazines showing how to make those by amateurs!"

"Those- Those are meters across," I said in protest, vaguely remembering that from an article I'd read not long ago.

"Ah, that's just the _dish_!" Suzumiya said, grinning. "The electronic instrumentation isn't so difficult - think about it! Only last year they found the 'Wow!' signal! There could be aliens all over trying to reach us, and SETI can only cover so much of the sky! As part of _our_ search for extra-terrestrial intelligence, we're going to pitch in and scan, too!"

I ... vaguely recalled reading about that signal. "And we're somehow going to find something that bigger observatories missed?" I wondered, dumbfounded at this girl's enthusiasm.

"Yes!" she exclaimed, pumping a fist in the air. "We're going to find something stupendous, maybe even something like the five-note-sequence from Close Encounters!"

"From what?" I asked, echoed by a confused noise from Asahina-san.

Suzumiya's sharp gaze fixed back on us as her smile vanished. "'Close Encounters of the Third Kind'!" she snapped. "Don't you watch movies? It only came out a few months ago in theaters!"

"The last movie I remember seeing in theaters was, 'The Terror of Mechagodzilla,'" I answered slowly.

She stared at me before rolling her eyes. "Whatever," she said flatly, picking the camera up again. "Mikuru-chan, come on - you're going to help us get that telescope!"

"Eh, um..." Asahina-san whimpered. "O...okay, Suzumiya-san..."

I was too distracted to protest, and it didn't seem like Asahina-san had that much of a problem with things, either, hesitantly following Suzumiya's enthusiastic march out of the room.

Even if it was a radical topic shift from Suzumiya's behavior, I couldn't help but think back to that movie I'd seen with my parents. It was not only the last movie I'd seen in theaters ... it was also the first movie I had seen in theaters. It was right after my elementary school graduation, and my parents had asked me to pick a movie that was showing. Nothing else had appealed to me, and my sister was being watched over by my aunt.

It had been quite an experience for me. I couldn't imagine what it was like to see new movies all the time. Had there been an article about the movie Suzumiya had mentioned?

I shook my head and turned to Nagato. "Do you see many movies?" I asked.

"No," she answered, already studying me instead of reading her book.

"Television?" I posed.

Giving the most difficult to detect shake of her head, Nagato replied, "No television."

"I suppose that makes us kindred spirits, then?"

She continued to stare at me wordlessly. I couldn't help but wonder if maybe Suzumiya should have asked the Electronics Research Society for instrumentation to observe Nagato Yuki's tiny movements instead of signals from deep space!

I was roused from these thoughts by the door crashing open again - but this time it wasn't Suzumiya who opened it. It was instead the form of Asahina-san, sobbing as she stumbled through and plowed straight into me. I was nearly knocked over myself, managing a feat of minor heroism by bracing myself against the table with one arm, and supporting the crying girl with the other.

Suzumiya traipsed through the door next in high spirits, her smile vanishing the moment she saw me with Asahina-san. "Enjoying yourself?" she grumbled, slamming the door behind her.

"Not particularly, no," I answered as sternly as I could.

I was more off-balance than anything else, and Suzumiya snorted in response, striding past me to stuff a small stack of those instant photographs into her schoolbag. The sight of her made Asahina-san drop to her knees, hugging herself against one of my legs tightly.

"What in the world just happened?" I asked.

Suzumiya opened her mouth to say something, then paused and thought better of it as Asahina-san abruptly cut off her sniffling. "I...it's nothing," the upperclassman mumbled, her face pressed against my leg just above the knee, and not moving to let go.

"I find that difficult to believe," I answered with a frown. "Asahina-san, what did Suzumiya-san do?"

"...nothing," Asahina-san lied, abruptly releasing my leg and scooting away, staring at the floor to one side. She had about as much skill at deception as my younger sister! In other circumstances, I might have thought it was cute. "I...it's nothing at all."

My gaze turned to Suzumiya-san, who returned a stony glare of her own.

"Okay," I said with a sigh, crossing my arms over my chest. "I don't know what happened outside of this room, and evidently neither of you are going to tell me."

Suzumiya allowed a nod in response. "So, what are you going to do about it?" she asked warily.

"I'm going to say that ... I don't know that a club that's looking for the paranormal is going to make a good impression on them if we're not comfortable with one-another," I answered after a moment of thought, thinking back to what a close middle school friend of mine might have said. "If Asahina-san is made to cry, I can only think that she wasn't able to feel accepted, or something crossed a bound she finds acceptable.

"If you can't tell me, I can only think that you don't find me worthy of trust. For Asahina-san and yourself, I suppose this makes sense - you've only just met." After a pause, I added, "As far as _I_ know.

"But, Suzumiya-san, we've known one-another longer. So if you don't want to tell me, that's how it is. But in that case, can I ask you one thing, instead?"

"Fine," she answered curtly, narrowing her eyes.

"If aliens came down, and brought you into their group unexpectedly, without evidently asking you if it was alright, and then did whatever it was that I'm never to know about - how would you feel?"

"If it were aliens-" Suzumiya started, before I interrupted, waving a hand to forestall her retort.

"Wait, that was a mistake on my part. Please pretend I didn't start the question that way. Trying again, let's say a normal person - a fellow human being like you and I. I can't know what happened, but is it something a subordinate should expect from their leader?"

Her mouth snapped shut and she scowled furiously, growling, "As if for _one second_ I would allow-" before she cut herself off and grimaced, looking like she tasted something exceptionally foul. Shaking her head abruptly, she marched past me to Asahina-san's side, and with supreme effort she said, "Well, I ... didn't- Well, fine! That's fine! That was your initiation trial, Mikuru-chan, and you've passed!

"You've done not just well, but phenomenally well! All our members had to do something difficult to come this far - Yuki gave us this room, Kyon managed to get a teacher to like him well enough to sponsor our club, and now you've done your share and gotten us important equipment! Naturally, nothing was meant to do lasting damage. Have no worries - those pictures will be destroyed, and no one else shall ever see them!"

Suzumiya was nearly hyperventilating, but it was as though a switch had been thrown, and she changed from angry, to her typical eager and excited self. No, in fact, she was even _more_ fervent than usual.

"Furthermore," she continued, reaching down and hauling Asahina-san to her feet effortlessly, "_as_ a member of the SOS-Brigade, you have earned the protection of not just Kyon, who's adequate in those things, but myself!"

"Wha- Wha- Wha...?" Asahina-san managed, her eyes widening even further. "B...but-"

Suzumiya made a determined, satisfied noise and nodded fiercely. "That's right- If ever such a situation arises, I am the leader of this organization! Therefore, it's my responsibility to handle anything before my subordinates! Understood?"

"O...okay?" Asahina-san said dazedly, looking about as confused as I felt.

"Good!" Haruhi exclaimed, her grin widening. Turning back to me, her smile fading only the tiniest bit, she asked, "Satisfied, Kyon?"

Scratching my head, I allowed, "If Asahina-san has no complaints, I don't have anything to object over. I do have one question though, Suzumiya-san."

"Another one?" Suzumiya returned, frowning. "Asahina-san, do _you_ want to tell Kyon about your initiation trial?"

The upperclassman shook her head vigorously. "No, no, this is fine!" she spat out quickly, forcing a smile of her own and waving a hand at me in a warding gesture.

"So, there you have it!" Suzumiya declared.

"That's not it, Suzumiya-san," I sighed.

"Well, _what_ then?" she asked, a bit testily.

"What's this 'SOS-Brigade' that you mentioned, Suzumiya-san?"

Suzumiya blinked several times, looking genuinely surprised, and then grinned mischievously. "_That_, I will show you _tomorrow_," she declared authoritatively, waggling her pointer finger at me. "Now- Mikuru-chan, would you like me to walk you home?"

"O...okay?" Asahina-san managed, still sounding bewildered. "Um ... thank you, Suzumiya-san?"

"It's my responsibility to care for my subordinates," Suzumiya reiterated, grabbing her bag and Asahina-san's as well. "Kyon, Yuki, the two of you can be excused for the day as well!"

I could only scratch my head and wonder just what the hell _had_ happened as the two girls left, with Suzumiya now behaving as though she were Asahina-san's self-appointed protective sister. I looked to Nagato to see if she had any insight, but she merely blinked and turned her attention back to her book.

...so that seemed to be that?

* * *

The club meeting the next day had a positive feel to it - Suzumiya ran ahead of me, but I wandered into Asahina-san in the hall. "Ah, hello Asahina-san ... or should it be Asahina-sempai?" I wondered, bowing a greeting to her.

"Ah- It's fine, it's fine," she said with a pleasant smile, shaking her head. "Um, let's see ... you're called 'Kyon', is that right?"

Unfortunately, yes.

"Then, is it okay if I call you Kyon-kun?" she asked hopefully.

A girl like that could call me almost anything, and I wouldn't complain - but less formality is preferable. "I don't mind," I agreed.

"Um, then you can just call me Mikuru-chan, like Suzumiya-san does!"

Somehow, I couldn't help but think that she deserved a bit more respect than that. "Is 'Asahina-san' fine?"

Slightly taken aback, she allowed, "I don't mind, Kyon-kun. Ah ... thank you-" She cut off as we reached the clubroom door, both of us pausing when we heard a mechanical noise of some sort, repeating every few seconds within.

Concerned for what Suzumiya might have devised next, I opened the door, to be immediately assaulted by a faintly sweet smell. Come to think of it ... this is the same scent as a test handed out by the teachers on some days, isn't it? A bit stronger, but the same thing, by and large.

Looking up from where she was working the crank on a large box-like machine, Suzumiya grinned at the pair of us. "Kyon, come here," she ordered. "You didn't know how to work an instant camera, but you can use a spirit duplicator, can't you?"

"Ah," I realized aloud. "I've seen one of those used before, but never done it myself. What are you doing?"

"Mass producing fliers for the club, of course," she answered, rolling her eyes. "I had Yuki make the master copy - her handwriting is very neat - and I want you to help finish producing them. Now, you turn this crank like so..."

Distracted by the novelty, I followed her instructions, very quickly churning out copy after copy of her flier from the machine. Yuki tended to keeping the supply of alcohol level. It was only after I'd taken up my assigned task that I thought to ask, "Where did you get this, anyway?"

"Yuki helped," Suzumiya answered with a shrug, carefully stacking the already-produced copies. They were stark aniline purple, again just like many of our tests. "The literature club has access to one of these, but she couldn't carry it here on her own."

"So I see," I mused. Once Suzumiya declared that we'd made enough, Nagato helped clean the machine and walked out of the room with the small tray of alcohol used in development - to dispose of it, I suppose. "To be honest, my mind went somewhere completely different when you said 'spirit duplicator,' Suzumiya-san."

"I wish," she answered dryly. "I think they're sometimes called 'ditto machines' - but it doesn't matter. It's another tool for the SOS Brigade!"

Though she _had_ just mentioned it was for the literature club. Somehow, I wasn't surprised.

"You said you'd explain what this 'SOS Brigade' is," I said, shaking my head and taking a seat next to Asahina-san.

"That's right!" Suzumiya proclaimed, pulling the master copy she had Nagato draw up out and presenting it to me.

I wasn't sure what to make of the paper before me. It was ... in some ways exactly what I'd expect - it announced the mission of her club to find 'aliens, espers, sliders, and time travelers,' and also included a giant block of characters spelling out the name.

'Save the world by Overloading it with fun, Suzumiya Haruhi's Brigade?'

"Astounding," I said, not really able to muster any other response.

"Right! That's the spirit!" she agreed, nodding in satisfaction.

"And now- Ah, Mikuru-chan, will you help me distribute these at the gate?" Suzumiya asked. "If we hurry, we can get stragglers leaving the school who don't have other clubs yet! We'll find at least one good recruit there, and if not, we'll be able to put out the word on who to contact if someone sees something amazing!"

"W...what does that mean?" Asahina-san asked worriedly, intimidated by Suzumiya's blaze of positive energy. Not that I could have blamed her.

"Simple," Suzumiya said authoritatively. "Just stand next to me and say, in your adorable, waif-like way," and then Suzumiya shocked me by effortlessly shifting her demeanor, "'Um, please, would you consider taking one of these fliers?' whenever someone walks by!" Of course, the moment she was done, she shifted back to her more energetic tone.

What a switch!

"That sounds fine," Asahina-san answered tremulously, offering a timid smile.

Nodding in determination, Haruhi grinned and linked her arm with Asahina-san's, taking up the stack of copies in her free hand. "Then, let's go! Yuki, Kyon, you can relax here for a bit, since you already did your part - good work, subordinates!"

The pair of them then marched off, Asahina-san with only the faintest fraction of Suzumiya's blazing confidence.

I ran a hand through my hair again, sighing. That seemed to be going well enough, right? I turned to Nagato, who was once again stuck with me. This seemed to be a repeating scenario.

Today's book title, which she returned to the moment after putting away the spirit duplicator, was, 'The Bicentennial Man.'

"What's that one about?" I tried.

She looked up and blinked, then answered in her soft voice, "An artificial human that wishes to become a real one."

"This is ... interesting?" I didn't really read much outside of history books, and the occasional Getter Robo manga. Those were about all that fit into my entertainment budget.

"Fascinating," she replied quietly.

That was not getting me anywhere. "Should I leave you alone to read it?" I asked quietly.

She closed the book, still staring at me. For a long minute she said nothing before finally blinking and setting it down. With conservative, almost mechanical motions, she rose to her feet and went to the bookshelf, picking up the book she had been reading two days before. Returning to the table on feet less audible than a ghost's, she handed it out to me.

"Ah ... thank you," I allowed awkwardly, accepting the imposing tome. This thing ... looked pretty thick.

She gave a single curt nod in reply before sitting down and opening her book back up.

I sighed; that was really enough of an answer, wasn't it? If she were interested in conversation...

"Read it," she said quietly, confirming the point in my mind.

So much for that!

Steeling myself, wondering if my time might be better spent getting a part-time job, I cracked the daunting volume open. I had gotten only a few pages in when the door smashed open, nearly startling me out of my seat. "Suzumiya-san, can't you be a bit more gentle with this building?" I protested in annoyance.

She shot me a dark look and opened her mouth to snap something before spotting the book in my hands. Rolling her eyes she sighed and shook her head. "Whatever," she answered dismissively, as Asahina-san stepped in behind her, wobbling on her feet and looking shell-shocked.

I bit back a sigh of my own. "What happened?" I asked, offering my seat to Asahina-san and managing to keep myself from tacking on a 'this time.'

"Eh, evidently the official advertising window for new clubs has already passed, and we can't recruit until we get more people," Suzumiya groused sourly. "But that doesn't matter - we still gave away about half our fliers, so the word is out there!"

"Which means we're just short on members," I mumbled. Once she collapsed into her seat, I asked our unsteady upperclassman, "Asahina-san, are you alright?"

"Eh, g...getting disciplined is scary," Asahina-san whimpered in response, crossing her arms on the table before her and hiding her face.

"It was just a warning," Suzumiya countered. "They said we'd get in trouble next time, so obviously we won't bother with a next time. Hmm, we still need to figure out what to do about the missing fifth member of our team... Well - we can worry about that later! Okay, everyone, I want us to meet up and keep ourselves busy, even if we are a member short!"

"When is this?" I wondered, frowning.

"Sunday," she clarified, taking the seat next to Nagato, who hadn't even looked up when she came into the room. "We'll meet up in front of Kouyouen station in the morning, at nine sharp! Don't be late, understood?"

I didn't actually have a part-time job to claim had priority, so sighed and nodded. At least I would have Saturday free.


	2. Part II

Outcast

A Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu fanfiction

by Brian Randall

Disclaimer: The series begun with the light novel 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi'/'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended with the creation of this work.

* * *

After a relatively relaxing day of weekend with no greater responsibilities than playing with my younger sister and helping her with her homework, I woke up uncomfortably early on what should have been a restful day. My mission was to meet with Suzumiya and the others for whatever club activity she'd designed.

At breakfast, my mother raised an eyebrow at me wearing the school uniform. It wasn't that uncommon for students to wear their uniforms outside of school, and the alternatives... My outdoor shoes were worn and scuffed enough, despite my better efforts.

"What's this all about, then?" she asked, handing over my portion of rice.

"I joined a club," I admitted, as my sister perked up.

My mother smiled cautiously. "Well, have fun, but be careful," she admonished. "You've finished your homework?"

"Of course," I replied. Most of it, anyway.

There was time to finish the rest later that evening.

After that, I hurried to the station, reaching the meeting point with a comfortable five minutes to spare-

"You are _late_!" Suzumiya declared, pointing at me imperiously as I slowed, realizing the others had beaten me there. "_Penalty_!"

...or so I had thought.

I stared in mystified silence for a heartbeat, before raising my watch to my ear. Suzumiya raised her eyebrows as I listened to the careful tick, then shook my head. The train station had a giant clock before it, and _it_ seemed to suggest I was at the very least on time, as well. In any case, I had already made an inadvertent show of confirming that my watch hadn't started running slow.

"How do you figure that?" I wondered, scratching the back of my head.

"The last one to arrive is late," she said, as though that explained everything. Giving a sharp shake of her head, she pointed to a nearby cafe. "As your penalty, you'll have to cover breakfast for everyone!" she announced, smirking at me.

I stared, dumbstruck, unable to keep a look of utter dismay from my face. Her smile faded to a glower of annoyance.

"Well?" she prompted, irritated.

"I don't even ha- That- I didn't bring that much with me," I stuttered, too shaken to properly consider what I'd started to say until it was too late.

She blinked, staring me up and down and she warmed up another angry retort. She started to bark something out and abruptly choked it back, eyes widening as she looked unexpectedly rattled, her gaze caught on my shoes for a moment before looking up and to one side. "I- Naturally I was joking!" she coughed, sputtering for a moment before forcing a laugh that didn't match her scowl. "Hah- Uh, like I said a few days ago, it's the leader's responsibility to watch out for her subordinates!

"That means it's all on me - as I'd planned from the beginning, of course! There is still a penalty, but you'll find out what that is later! Being teased like this is just for making us wait!"

She laughed uneasily again, prompting Asahina-san to give her a curious, confused look. "Um, a joke?" the upperclassman wondered. "I- I don't get-"

"So, today we're going to search for mysterious things!" Suzumiya nearly exploded, jumping in place and thrusting a fist into the air. "We all have to make sure to keep our energy up, right?"

...it didn't take a genius to realize she'd figured out how little money my family had to work with. So, as embarrassing as it was ... thank you, Suzumiya, for that much.

"But, I don't-" Asahina-san started before Suzumiya interrupted her once more.

"A joke! A prank! You're supposed to laugh, Mikuru-chan! Maybe I should tickle you to help you be amused? It's just a pointless distraction before we sit down and focus!" she insisted. "N-now come on!"

"Eeh!" Asahina-san yelped, clearly still bewildered. "Um, I mean, hahaha!"

I had no idea how to take things, but was at least spared greater humiliation for the moment, thanks to Suzumiya's unexpected distraction.

I couldn't really remember the last time I'd eaten out, so let myself be led along by the others as Suzumiya marched into the cafe. I supposed it had to be when my aunt and uncle were in town. They always wanted to treat my mother and her family well. It had been a while, though, hadn't it?

When it was time for our orders, Suzumiya stared at her menu with a look of concentration such that I half expected it to burst into flame. She insisted, "I'll order last. Yuki, why don't you go first? And be sure to get enough to eat!"

Seated in a square formation around a table of the same shape, Suzumiya was to my left, and Nagato directly across from me. I only then belatedly noticed that she was wearing her uniform, too. Well, at least I wouldn't stick out too much. Both Suzumiya and Asahina-san were wearing casual skirts and blouses - a yellow top and earth-tone skirt for Suzumiya, and a billowing light blue matching skirt and top for Asahina-san.

Nagato quietly ordered a bowl of porridge, while Asahina-san hedged for a moment and then decided on French toast. I wasn't used to the menu, but already knew my answer. "I didn't know about this, so ate before arriving," I said with a shrug. "Would just coffee be alright?"

"Not a problem!" the waitress chirped at me, nodding.

Suzumiya looked as though she was about to protest, but bit back whatever she was going to say. "I'm not that hungry yet, so just coffee for me, as well," she decided.

"Okay, then!" the waitress called, nodding before she hustled off to place our orders.

"Um ... thanks for the coffee," I said quietly.

"Oh, yes! Thank you for covering us," Asahina-san agreed sweetly. "That's very considerate of you, Suzumiya-san!"

"Thank you," Nagato echoed very softly.

"I...it's nothing," Suzumiya insisted, shaking her head sharply. "Like I said - the leader's responsibility!"

Then, even though I was dreading it, I asked, "What's my penalty?"

"Worry about that later," Suzumiya grumbled, looking away.

* * *

After a subdued meal... Well, it was really only half a meal, since Suzumiya and I only took coffee... At any rate, once it was done and Suzumiya settled the check, we walked outside, where she pulled some lengths of red yarn from her shoulder-bag. With great flair, she tucked them into a fist with just half of the ends protruding.

We drew them in order, both Nagato and I grabbing short lengths, and Asahina-san a longer length.

"There we go," Suzumiya declared, showing Asahina-san a matching length. "Alright! Yuki, Kyon, you'll be the western team. You're to scout out to the west and see if you find anything mysterious! Mikuru-chan and I will scour the east! Try to find something good!"

"Understood," Nagato answered in her quiet monotone.

"You got it," I mumbled, not much louder. We turned about and plodded away before Suzumiya could add anything else. How perceptive _was_ the quiet girl, anyway?

Had she figured out what Suzumiya obviously had?

Did she care?

Then again - for all I knew, she was in the same situation. Of course, wearing a school uniform instead of more casual clothes wasn't a strong indicator. Many high school students did it. Searching for some hint, I couldn't help trying to steal glances at her shoes. If they told me anything, it was that either she took much better care of them than I did, or our situations weren't that similar after all.

So ... that part of blending in seemed to have failed. What should I have done about it? Stated things plainly? Tried to ask a few leading questions?

I wasn't able to figure anything out quickly, but I knew for certain that I wasn't able to give Suzumiya's search the focus she'd demanded.

Without any firmer route in mind, we detoured through a nearby park. When Nagato's silence became unnerving, I finally asked her, "Nagato-san, those books you read... You like science-fiction?"

"It is interesting," she answered quietly, without hesitation. I almost wasn't certain I heard her; her voice was barely louder than the breeze whispering through the trees surrounding us.

Had she been waiting for me to speak? "I see! Do you read anything else?"

"Yes."

It was not the most lengthy answer I'd received. Feeling like I was faltering, trying to find some common ground, I offered, "I've really mostly only read history and school books, myself- Uh, I'm a big fan of history books. Do you ... read many of those?"

Tilting her head slightly to one side, her voice still barely louder than a whisper, she answered, "Many."

"Do you ... have many favorites?" I tried.

She shook her head slowly. "Best-seller list."

Was that... "Which library do you get your books from?" I asked.

She blinked in response, slowing to a stop and tilting her head to one side curiously.

"You ... buy your books?" I asked.

She nodded in response, though as usual, the gesture was so tiny it was almost impossible to detect.

"I- I see! I like to read at the library when I can," I offered lamely. "There's ... one not far from here." There was another girl, in middle school, that I spent quite a bit of time there with, studying.

Nagato stared at me, her expression betraying only the merest hints of curiosity. "Um, it's ... probably not what Suzumiya-san wants us to find, exactly, but if you've never seen one, I wouldn't mind showing you the way. It might be better than having to buy a new book-" I bit my tongue at that.

Not in the metaphorical sense, but the literal one. Somehow, without saying anything at all, this girl could unnerve me, make blather things I'd usually try and be much more subtle about.

Offering a lame chuckle, I ran one hand through my hair and amended, "If you want to check it out from the library first, or just read a few pages to see if it's worth buying, that may be convenient. Or perhaps if you're just looking for a quiet place to read and... Is your family loud?"

"I am alone," she answered quietly.

What ... really? "No- No parents or siblings?" I asked in surprise.

"They reside elsewhere," she replied, her eyes closing for a moment before reopening.

I was not handling things as well as I wished I was. "Well, let's ... see the library, then," I suggested weakly.

She gave her tiny nod and followed me on feet like a ghosts', making no sound. Having her silently following me became unnerving by the time we reached the edge of the park.

"You can walk at my side, Nagato-san," I offered. It would be better than me needing to look back every few steps to make sure she was still there. "You don't need to stay behind me."

I paused as she regarded me with an unreadable expression.

Thinking she might just be following because she wasn't certain where we were going, I gestured down the road. Without any further hesitation, she stepped to my side and regarded me expectantly. With that, she matched my speed perfectly, holding position without seeming effort.

That struck me as far better. Somehow, being ahead of her made me feel uncomfortable ... not the least because even if Asahina-san hadn't realized what Suzumiya had, I didn't have any idea what Nagato's stance on things was.

We reached the library shortly, and Nagato blinked several times, trying to absorb it all once we stepped through the doors. She hadn't been kidding, she really _had_ never seen one before! She wandered about lightly on her toes, like a spirit drawn to the printed world, abandoning her earthly cares to drift from shelf to shelf.

I had to smile a little bit. For all that she seemed distant, it was clear that she was at home - in her element here. As tempting as it was to join her and get lost in my favorite subject, I followed her for a bit before explaining softly, "You can check books out, here. They'll let you borrow them for a while, and once you return them you can get more. If you've never been, do you know about getting a library card?"

She shook her head a tiny distance, already holding a pair of books. "No," she said in a voice that no one would ever complain about in a library.

"Well ... I can show you how to get one set up," I offered. "We can fill out the paperwork and then you can come back once you've brought enough for the fee."

Her eyes blinked, and I realized I'd made another slip. She probably had enough for the fee already.

I'd gotten enough for a card for my birthday, once. That had been a real asset during my last year of middle school, but had lapsed months ago. If I'd _thought_ about it, I could have brought some of my dwindling Golden Week savings along with me. That would have been a worthwhile expense.

Well, they say hindsight is perfect, more or less, don't they?

When she said nothing, I led her to the forms and showed her how to fill them out. She hesitated halfway though, but instead of being uncertain or asking me for clarification - not that she had any questions - she simply took another blank form and presented it to me.

"You want me to fill one out as well?" I asked, confused.

She gave her tiny nod and stared at me expectantly.

Well, why wouldn't I? Filling out the forms didn't mean I needed to turn them in.

Once we finished with that and I showed her to the librarian's desk up front, she took my form before I could protest. "Both of these?" the matronly woman asked, glancing between us, smiling softly at a normal pair of uniformed students.

"Yes," Nagato softly answered.

"Ah, I'll- I'll pay you back tomorrow," I said with a wince, ducking my head at Nagato's generosity.

She shook her head in her almost unobservable denial and announced, "Literature club fund expense."

...I had no counter argument for that.

"Very diligent!" the woman behind the counter remarked, smiling as she printed our cards out and handed them over, then took payment from Nagato and handed the change over.

While belated, I managed to ask, "Is that okay? Especially if Suzumiya-san wants us to be in a different club?"

Meeting my eyes, I thought I could detect the faintest hints of a smile in her gaze, though her facial expression didn't seem to change one whit. "It is fine," she said in a quiet whisper, extending the card she had gotten for me.

"I... Thank you, Nagato-san," I answered, bowing deeply and accepting it with both hands, the way a businessman might accept an exchanged card.

Looking very faintly satisfied with herself, Nagato then wandered back to the bookshelves. After checking my watch to ensure we weren't going to be late - I certainly didn't want to risk another penalty - I decided to trail after and see what kinds of books might interest her.

* * *

Unexpectedly, Suzumiya and Asahina-san were the ones who were late.

Nagato and I had arrived with about twenty minutes to spare to avoid penalties. I'd talked her out of checking out the maximum of ten books, down to a mere two, since we hadn't brought bags with us.

When she approached, Asahina-san trailing behind her and smiling pleasantly, Suzumiya eyed our books doubtfully. I'd only gotten one, but my hope was that it would appease our club founder. "Well," Suzumiya said abruptly once she drew within speaking range, "you weren't late. So, what's with those?" She pointed at our books suspiciously.

I held up my copy of Carl Sagan's, 'Communication With Extraterrestrial Intelligence.'

Suzumiya's scowl faded a bit. "I don't think you quite understood what we were supposed to be looking for," she grumbled.

"Sorry ... Nagato-san had never been to a library before, and without any better clues, I thought it might be good to get something that would help with our radio telescope project," I offered, shrugging before holding the book out.

"Really," Suzumiya drawled, before straightening up. "Okay- This was your doing, Kyon, not Yuki's. Am I right?"

I wasn't looking forward to what was going to happen next, but after the kindness Nagato had shown me, I wasn't about to let her take the blame. "I just said as much, didn't I?"

Suzumiya heaved a dramatic sigh, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Alright," she announced tiredly. "We obviously need a one-on-one discussion about the goal of this exercise. Mikuru-chan, Yuki, we're going to split up for lunch. Kyon, you're coming with me."

"Ah?" Asahina-san started, blinking. "But, I..."

She trailed off as Suzumiya grabbed my wrist with surprising strength and dragged me after her - right into the same cafe we were at earlier. Nagato merely watched curiously, not even rising from her seat on the stone bench we'd been waiting at before the station.

I tried to protest, "Suzumiya-san-"

"Save it," she snapped tersely, leading me to a seat at another table, then crossing her arms over her chest and dropping into her own, directly across from me. "The library ... _really_, now, Kyon! You were supposed to search for something mysterious, not hide inside. What kind of alien's going to be poking around all those books?"

She had a good point. I couldn't imagine that kind of alien myself, as much as I would have liked to. "It- I tried to," I said, frowning. "You didn't-"

"Hold that thought," she commanded as the waitress approached. Turning to her, in a softer voice, she said, "If it's not any trouble, we'll each have the katsu donburi and green tea, thanks," before returning her attention to me. "What's done is done, and you've gotten it anyway, so tell me about this book!"

The waitress nodded, beaming me a smile and tucking a strand of her green hair behind her ear before retreating faster than I could protest.

"Where to even begin," I mumbled. I couldn't afford that... Hadn't Suzumiya figured that out, already?

"At the beginning, unless you know a better place!" she answered unhesitatingly. "You think it's got useful clues in it?"

"I'll let you judge," I sighed, not quite sure what else to do, but offering the book out again.

She accepted the volume, leafing through a few pages eagerly. "This looks interesting!" she declared quickly. "Alright, I won't give you an additional penalty beyond this lecture, then," she finally determined. "This is ... not that bad. But I could have gone to the library to find this myself! So I expect you to read this very carefully, and learn as much as you can about how this will help us."

Her food was brought to the table by our smiling waitress, who set a steaming bowl of donburi and a cup of tea before each of us without hesitation.

Suzumiya scowled when I only stared at the cutlet over rice before me. "If it's a penalty, you don't get to choose your own order," she said in a warning tone, before I found anything to say.

I supposed ... there was nothing else to do but accept it. "Thanks," I said quietly.

"A...anyway," she continued, coughing, "I want you to read it carefully and take good notes- I may even test you on it later! Understand?"

Somehow, I couldn't be entirely surprised by that reaction. Well, it _was_ my offering for 'something amazing' on the mystery search. "Understood," I agreed.

Nodding in satisfaction, she separated her wooden chopsticks and gestured for me to do the same. "Don't take forever," she admonished, though in a softer tone. "Yuki and Mikuru-chan will be waiting on us, after all."

"Alright, then." I ... couldn't think of anything else to say in such an uneven situation. She seemed enthusiastic about the find, even if it had been something of a cop-out.

Well, there was one possibility. "So, this book," I tried, while she sampled the first bite. "You think it will be useful?"

"It better be," she said, raising her eyebrows. "You're going to be taking notes and learning from it, after all - this is by the same person who helped found SETI! Naturally, we can't neglect investigating time travelers, spirits, or anything else worthwhile, but this is valuable insight!"

"Alright, alright," I sighed, glad that the cloud of awkwardness hanging over us seemed to have lifted. "Did you find anything good?" I finally allowed myself to take a bite of the fare before me while waiting for her reply, since she'd already started on hers. It was ... really good, actually, and almost hot enough to burn my tongue.

"Ah," she answered, perking up further. "Well, nothing _really_ amazing - but there's a park where I found a spot to set up our radio telescope, once we get a dish! It could be a good place to hunt for spirits, too! Who knows, just yet?"

"How are we going to move the dish around, anyway? Or properly aim it?"

"One thing at a time," she said, her enthusiasm restored. Waggling a fingertip at me, she chided, "You may be doubtful, but as long as you keep an open mind to learn from books like this, you still have a chance!"

"You know, Carl Sagan is skeptical of UFOs and alien visitations, too," I countered, recalling what I'd read elsewhere.

"And yet, he wrote this!" Suzumiya declared, thumping the closed book on the table before her. "Don't close your mind to the possibilities, even if you _are_ a skeptic! Just because the dumber and less likely stories probably aren't real doesn't mean that none of them are! You have to learn from this to spot the more reliable signs and clues!"

"Alright," I agreed, managing a small smile.

Suzumiya favored me with a surprisingly dazzling smile of her own at that, her eyes glowing with enough energy I suspected those same aliens could probably sense it from wherever they might be hiding. "Good! Now hurry up - once you're done, you'll race back to the meeting spot! I'll take care of things here, and our team won't be late to return again!"

"You didn't tell Asahina-san or Nagato-san that there was a time limit!" I protested, even as I complied. My mother was not a terrible cook, but this was at least as good as her cooking, and probably better.

"Last one to return is still late," she insisted, gulping down her tea.

* * *

There wasn't much point to Suzumiya sending me out to wait at our chosen location for rendezvous. Without being warned about the urgency to return, Asahina-san and Nagato took a bit to show up. While waiting, Suzumiya flipped impatiently through the book I checked out. Perhaps I should have grabbed Nakagami Neji's 'The Sea of Withered Trees' as well. Certainly, Nagato had made me start thinking that it would be good to branch out from just history books!

Once the pair came into sight, rounding the corner, Suzumiya's sharp eyes spotted them and she popped instantly to her feet, thrusting the book back toward me. I realized I should have brought a bag. If there was anything to find, I'd want a convenient way to carry it, wouldn't I?

Well, that was hindsight for you.

"Late," Suzumiya barked, once they were in earshot, fixing them with a menacing grin. "For shame... Well - that means last choice for you, then!"

Suzumiya wasted no time pulling the strings she had used earlier from her bag and putting them in her fist again - this time letting me have the first draw. Once again, I got a short string.

Suzumiya pulled a long string, next, giving it a curious look. "Mikuru-chan next," she decided, presenting the strings for the wide-eyed older girl.

The pleasant-mannered upperclassman pulled a short string, matching mine, and Suzumiya made a face, showing Nagato the other matched string before collecting them and stowing them in her bag again.

"Alright - this time, Yuki and I will check north, and Kyon and Mikuru-chan will check south," she ordered. "We're going to be searching, so keep your eyes peeled, Yuki! And Kyon, no hiding indoors from your assignment, alright? No window-shopping, either! Signs of aliens, ghosts - try and find _something_, understand?"

"Okay!" Asahina-san agreed.

Less enthusiastically, I nodded my own confirmation to Suzumiya's orders. I owed her at this point, didn't I?

The pair of us walked down the road headed away from the station. "Did you have a good lunch, Asahina-san?" I asked, trying to start a conversation, or maybe just engage in small-talk.

"Oh, yes - Nagato-san and I found an okonomiyaki-ya," she agreed, favoring me with a pleasant smile. "It was good! I hadn't had it before!"

"That's nice. I didn't know there was a place like that around here."

"Ah, and how about you?" she asked, tilting her head to one side. "Did you have a good lunch?"

"Um, we had katsu donburi," I answered honestly. "It was pretty good."

"That seems like a nice cafe ... I wouldn't mind meeting there once in a while, but I'm glad Suzumiya was generous enough to cover it for us!" Asahina-san said with a giggle.

I had to look away. If Asahina-san was saying what I thought ... then that was quite subtle.

As we walked past a convenience store, I tried to change the subject. "I'm still a bit confused about something from earlier in the week, Asahina-san. Can I ask you about it?"

"Oh, well, maybe," she allowed, her smile fading a bit.

I suspected I already knew how she would answer, but when we paused to wait for a crosswalk, I asked, "What ... happened that day? With the photographs?"

"Ah," Asahina-san said with a wince, looking away. "Um... I should say something about that, shouldn't I?"

"If you don't want to, you don't have to," I answered quickly, as the light changed and we moved forward together. This was not how I had imagined walking alone with Asahina-san to be. Though, I couldn't imagine doing much more than walking with such a refined, cultured young lady! I'm sure her family was very protective of her, so getting closer than we were already simply wasn't conceivable.

I still had the hope that we could be friends.

"I should say something, though," Asahina-san said slowly. "Even if ... I would be happier pretending ... that certain thing hadn't happened..." She suddenly darted forward a few steps to stand in front of me, then stopped and turned to face me. "But there is something I have to say anyway!"

I froze, not quite expecting that. What could it be?

"Kyon-kun, thank you for talking to Suzumiya-san, and also for being so reasonable!" she exclaimed, clasping her hands together before her. "She ... can be a bit scary, but as long as Kyon-kun is there, then I know it will be fine! Things won't get out of hand, and..." She trailed off, pink tingeing her cheeks. "Ah, what I mean to say is, I'm impressed and happy that you were able to talk to her so easily... I don't, um, like fighting or arguments, but that didn't happen, so I feel that things will be okay! Suzumiya-san is ... interesting. R...really, with her energy, and your calm, this might even be fun!"

That was a lot to take in. A few of the people wandering the streets gave us sidelong glances, and I had to nervously scratch the back of my neck at that flattery. "That's ... very kind of you," I finally managed. "Um, are you sure it's okay to just leave things like that?"

"Suzumiya-san gave her word, and I don't think she will go back on that," Asahina-san returned earnestly. "So with Kyon-kun and Suzumiya-san, I believe it will be okay!"

That was actually very reassuring to hear! "What about Nagato-san?" I wondered.

"Ah, I don't..." Asahina-san's eyes darted away and her face colored. "Nagato-san is very quiet. It's..." She hedged a moment, then sighed, slumping slightly. I once again got the impression of a child who was trying to lie, but realized it was pointless and had just given up - she seemed relieved a slight bit that she could be more honest as she said, "She's a little ... scary, because of how quiet she is."

I couldn't tell her I thought otherwise.

"I know," I agreed, surprising her, then shaking my head, gesturing behind her, down the street. "But I don't think that anyone should be judged based on their exterior, if they can help it. There's always something behind that mask; not everyone can be perfectly open. And from what I've seen, Nagato-san is a good person, well worth knowing."

"I...is that so?" Asahina-san asked cautiously, falling into step beside me as we continued walking.

"I believe it," I said, nodding.

"Okay," Asahina-san said with determination, fixing her cute features in a mask of resolve as she nodded. "Then I will be patient with her! I know I can trust you, and so..."

Well... That was flattering, but starting to drift toward dangerous territory. I really knew better - I had to avoid getting _too_ close to someone as pleasant and refined as Asahina-san. All it would take is one person digging too deeply into...

Changing the subject, I asked, "What do you think about Suzumiya-san's plan to find ... time travelers and other things like that?" I was about to say 'aliens' again, but we'd been going over that topic rather a lot already.

Asahina-san faltered a bit, and managed a weak smile. "I ... think if she sets her mind to it, she could probably find such people ... if they were real," she said hesitantly. "Um, but who's to say?"

"Well, that's our mission for today." I shook my head and put my hands in my pockets, looking up at the sky. "While it would undoubtedly make her happy if I could come back to meet her with a time traveler, I wouldn't even know where to begin searching for them. What do you think? How would we watch for time travelers, Asahina-san?"

For some reason, the question had made her very nervous. Perhaps she didn't like thinking about paranormal and supernatural things?

"I- I would think ... that a time traveler would look just like anyone else, if they could help it," she said uneasily. "Um ... if they were doing their jobs right ... wouldn't no one be able to tell them apart from the people around them?"

I chuckled at that thought. It was an insightful answer, so perhaps not fightened after all. "I suppose," I admitted. "It might not be true for aliens, but time travelers should look just like us, right? For all I know, you could be one!"

"Eh, hehe," Asahina-san eked out, forcing the laugh and looking even paler than before.

Well, that was no good. "What's wrong?" I asked, as we stopped at another crosswalk.

"I...it," Asahina-san started, looking troubled. "W...well, if..."

I had a sudden insight, and offered what I hoped was a reassuring smile. "Ah- You're thinking I would play a joke and tell Suzumiya-san that you really _are_ a time traveler?" I asked.

"Eee!" she squeaked, prompting some of the others waiting with us to glance at her. "I- I wouldn't want her to be told that!" she said, aghast.

"Of course," I agreed. "You would rather she accepted you as you are, for who you are, not something silly like that. Am I right?"

Asahina-san stared at me with widening eyes, pausing so long that the light changed. We both stood there, while I waited for her to recover herself, even when the small group of people waiting at the intersection with us crossed the street, and the lights changed again.

"R...really," she said slowly, finally ducking her head and staring at her feet, "that's true. Almost more than anything I'd like to be friends with Suzumiya-san! If it was because of who I was and not ... being a time-traveler, then that would be even better!"

"Then I promise I won't joke about that again," I swore solemnly. "I'm sorry, Asahina-san."

"I- Thank you, Kyon-kun," she said, shaking her head and offering me a smile almost on par with the one I'd gotten from Suzumiya earlier. She still seemed a bit troubled ... but more, earnestly happy about things. She giggled suddenly, shaking her head. "Suzumiya-san said we should be searching for something though, right? We'd probably best do as she instructed!"

"Alright, then. What shall we look for?"

"Ah... I couldn't even say where to begin," she said apologetically, biting her lip in consternation as the light changed again and we started to cross the street.

We'd gone far enough to reach another of the city's parks - something I liked about the city - so I suggested, "Why not walk in the park and keep an eye out for anything unusual for Suzumiya-san, then?"

"That sounds fine by me!" Asahina-san agreed brightly.

* * *

Walking in the park with Asahina-san was a remarkably pleasant way to spend the afternoon, all things considered. This particular park happened to have a good number of flower beds, and I was impressed at how well versed she was in their names - and the meanings of them if they were presented as gifts. As we walked back to the assigned meeting point, the afternoon sun was still high in the sky. We were early, but hopefully not too early.

The same train station we'd been meeting at was just before us, and I could see no sign of Suzumiya or Nagato. Still walking next to Asahina-san, I complimented her, "You must study flowers quite a bit!"

"I- It's something I like," she said with a smile. "Um ... I was instructed, er... I was given some basics before I came to Kitago, so I've kept my studies up, trying to learn more about, um, current botany!"

"Plants?" Suzumiya asked suddenly, popping out of the crowd from seemingly nowhere, Nagato trailing behind her, still clutching the books she had picked up from the library. "Is that what you looked for?"

"It's not like that," I said quickly, when Asahina-san hopped into the air a short distance in fright, landing unsteadily with wide eyes.

Suzumiya's eyes locked onto me. "Really?" she drawled.

"Well - okay, it started out that way," I admitted, shrugging. "But I had a thought on that. What if alien life is different from what most people imagine?"

"What, alien _plants_?" Suzumiya asked, furrowing her brow.

"It could be!" I agreed.

"Huh," Suzumiya allowed, her ire fading to a thoughtful look. "That's a thought! If we can imagine man-eating plants, then why not intelligent ones? Alright - did you find anything?"

"N...not really," Asahina-san admitted, wincing.

Suzumiya grimaced. "I see," she sighed. "Well, neither did we. That'll have to do for now, since this was a preliminary search. Next time, we'll find more members, so we can cast a wider net!"

I had to be impressed with her confidence that there was something to be found so easily. As tempting as it was to point out that something truly odd should have been found by that point, if it were there to be discovered so easily, I just made a thoughtful noise and allowed, "Maybe."

At the time, I owed her too much to try and crash down on her enthusiasm. Aside from which, knowing about Suzumiya's energy, she'd probably insist that no one else had ever looked hard enough, and it really _was_ there.

"Okay," Suzumiya said, shaking her head. "Mikuru-chan, Yuki, good work - you're dismissed for the day."

"And I'm not?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

"Nope," she answered immediately, unslinging her bag from her shoulder and tossing it at me. It hit me in the chest, heavier than it looked, and I just managed to grab the strap before dropping it.

"Hey, be careful throwing things around like that," I said irritably.

"You're fine," she said with a roll of her eyes, her attention turning to the others. "I'll see you two at school tomorrow - for Kyon's penalty, he's carrying my bag for me. We're going to do one last check on the way home to see if we find anything worthwhile. With that, you are dismissed!"

"Ah, uh- Okay! Goodbye, Suzumiya-san, Kyon-kun- Goodbye, um, Nagato-san!" Asahina-san yelped, as though afraid to stay longer once Suzumiya had given her release. Nagato quietly nodded, saying nothing.

The two of them then headed away in different directions, leaving the pair of us alone. I sighed and shifted my grip on Suzumiya's bag, which I was suddenly glad wasn't terribly feminine in design.

That would be embarrassing.

"How long is this going to take?" I asked, thinking of dinner at home, and my unfinished homework.

"Just come along," she said quietly, gesturing for me to follow.

I bit back a sigh and fell into step behind her as she led the way.

"Where are we going?" I wondered aloud.

"Home," she said stiffly.

What was wrong? Was she just upset that we hadn't found anything?

I couldn't think of what to say or ask, and evidently carrying her bag was my penalty, so I could hardly protest. But I had a sense that there was something else she had singled me out for. I couldn't imagine what it was, but I could see the tension in her back just fine as she stalked through the streets toward, evidently, her home.

The sun slowly shifted through the skies, and my feet started to hurt a little before her pace slowed. We had wandered from downtown and into a residential district, her pace slowing when we reached a school. East Middle School, in point of fact. Hadn't she mentioned that it was her old middle school?

Before the gate, she finally came to a halt, staring through the bars at the field beyond. There was an aura of palpable melancholy about her as she took another step forward, close enough to grip one of the bars in her right hand. For all of her strength, she didn't even try and open the gate, which I was certain had to be locked-

It would have been easier to climb, if that were her goal. I did recall one of Taniguchi's unsolicited stories - that Suzumiya had drawn a symbol on the lawn of the school at the start of middle school.

"Let me tell you something," she said quietly. She didn't even look back to see if I was paying attention, but her intensity was enough I stood up straight anyway. "Now, listen close."

Well, my attention is yours, Suzumiya-san...

"Do you know ... what it's like to feel unimportant?"

It was a feeling I was very comfortable with, actually. Ignored is better than overly scrutinized, to me.

I could only guess she felt very different.

"This isn't about simply not being involved in some thing or another," she continued, her head bowing slightly. "It's the sensation that you, no matter what you do, don't actually _matter_, because there are so many other people that you can't possibly be significant in comparison to them."

That was the kind of thing I tried not to dwell on, particularly. Such philosophical ramblings had a tendency to depress me, so I tried to focus on the more positive aspects of them. But I couldn't say anything before she finished her point, so I merely said, "Of course."

Her head rose again, though from the back, I couldn't see her face. "This is why I _have_ to find something," she said quietly, her voice holding the slightest quaver. "When I finished elementary school, as a reward, my father took me to see the Tigers play."

She paused, undoubtedly realizing that this was the kind of thing I wouldn't have gotten to do. Sighing softly, she pressed on.

"When we got there, in the high bleachers, I was able to see the entire stadium. It was almost full ... and I could see the people... So many people. They were packed in so densely it was hard to make sense of them. More than you could count, even by staring - they were like grains of rice, wriggling around, waving pennants and baseball caps to cheer the Tigers on..."

She took a deep breath. We did watch baseball games on Sundays, sometimes. If I had been home instead of out with her, I might have watched another one that day. I'd seen stadium shots occasionally, showing the crowds. It had never really had that effect on me, but I tried to imagine what it must have looked like to her.

"When we got back home," she continued, her voice brisk, "I asked my father, 'how many people were there?' After all, I had thought that the entire population of Japan must have shown up!"

I bit back a remark that I knew I hadn't been there. I knew that wasn't her point.

"He told me, 'the stadium has a capacity of fifty five thousand people!' So that night, I did some math. The population the previous year was recorded as one hundred ten million, one hundred sixty two thousand!"

The fact that she remembered the numbers that well told me how important this had to be to her. "That meant that the population of Japan was at least _two thousand_ times the number of people I saw that day! So that meant, when I thought about the people in my classroom - who until that day I had thought were the most amazing, interesting people in the world - how were they significant? How could _I_ be significant?

"Against that number, and the even greater population of the Earth ... there had to be _truly_ amazing and significant people! And that's why... That is why I have to find them!"

It took some effort to process what she was saying. I had always known in an abstract sense that the number of people in the world was a vast number, but the way she put it ... I could see how humbling it would be. Drops in the bucket! Grains of sand on the beach!

If I were younger, and more impressionable...

But, no. I couldn't perfectly see it from her point of view. I thought I could understand, a little, but given the chance, I'd happily be just another insignificant grain among the many.

"After that," she continued more softly. "I felt like everything had become duller. My mother's cooking was bland ... the colors of the leaves seemed less intense. The people who I had thought were amazing and special were just like everyone else - boring beyond belief.

"And because of that, if _I_ can't be one of those special, amazing people out there ... I will never give up searching! And I don't want _you_ to give up searching, either! Understand?"

She finally turned to face me, releasing the gate from where she had been gripping it. I could see her eyes glistening with unshed moisture, and had to look away.

What ... was there to say to that? Words tumbled from my lips before I could call them back. "I see..." I knew, in an abstract sense what I should have said - or better, _done_.

But I knew what kind of grain of sand I was in that bucket. I knew where it would eventually lead, and what I might have to expect if I crossed bounds that I shouldn't have. I really could understand how it had shaken her ... but I wasn't able to find the right words.

Before the silence grew too much, she took her bag from my hands and quietly said, "You're dismissed for today, too," and marched down the street.

As the wind picked up from behind me, rushing down the street and ruffling the hair of the girl I watched walk away, more words I hadn't intended slipped from my mouth. "I wouldn't mind being less significant."

My volume might have rivaled Nagato's at that point, and with the breeze I hoped she hadn't heard me. Her step faltered for the briefest moment, as though she were going to turn... But in the end, it seemed it was just the wind after all, and she continued without pause, as inevitable as the flow of time, and unchangeable as the course of history.

I felt like I should have tried to chase after her and offer ... something. I couldn't, though, and even though she was walking the same direction I had to go, I just watched until she was out of sight. "I'm sorry, Suzumiya-san," I said, even though it was too late, and too little.

Even if it was only a tiny bit, I could feel her melancholy.

Heaving a sigh, I wearily began my own trudge home.

* * *

After arriving home later than I wanted, and rushing to complete the homework I had delayed on, I found myself unable to sleep. With nothing better to do, I read the book - Suzumiya's assignment to me. I got a few chapters in before exhaustion finally overtook me.

Thanks to that, I was sluggish to wake. My younger sister was eager to help, and shook me in time with the ringing of my alarm. I sat up and finally shooed her off, once she was convinced I wasn't going to go back to sleep. The sense of weariness bore down from the time I wound my alarm clock back up, until I had climbed the energy-sapping hill - and discovered something that snapped me out of my grogginess.

Someone had left a note in my shoe locker.

Not sure how else to handle it, the moment I overcame my shock at seeing it sitting neatly atop my indoor shoes, I stuffed it into my uniform blazer. After changing shoes, I immediately set out to the nearest bathroom and hid in a stall to read it.

It was neatly written in a feminine hand, and politely asked if I would meet the sender in my own classroom. My heart-rate settled a bit, though I was still mystified. Who could have sent me this note?

Suzumiya would simply _ask_ if she wanted my attention. Or not ask, and merely demand - but she wouldn't resort to a letter. I couldn't imagine Nagato being behind this. While it might have been Asahina-san, it didn't seem to fit her, and I was certain that she, of all people, would have signed a message.

I didn't know what to make of it, ultimately.

I couldn't just ignore it, though. Not knowing how else to deal with it, I resolved to respond to it after class and speak with ... whoever directly.

But what did they even want to talk to me about?

Suzumiya was in the classroom when I finally entered, staring out the window when I entered. I supposed that spared me her sharp-eyed gaze somehow seeing through me and asking why I was bothered.

Hopefully it was something harmless...

"We still need to find a fifth person," Suzumiya groused, not looking toward me, or even saying 'hello'.

"Did you have someone in mind?" I wondered, having forgotten about that detail entirely.

"It would be perfect if someone transfered in unexpectedly," she declared, nodding. "Within the next few days. Someone mysterious! Someone..." She pursed her lips and turned to look at me. "Who would _you_ want to join the club?"

What kind of question was that? "From someone we know? Or someone we've never met before?"

"Hmm, well, if you knew someone worth inviting, you'd have mentioned them already - so the ideal person," she explained.

"I hadn't thought of it," I admitted. "Someone who could get along with everyone and give us information on something we don't already have, I suppose."

She shook her head. "Did you finish the book?" she asked, changing the subject before I could give it further thought.

"No, just a few chapters," I admitted. "It's got some interesting, but complicated stuff in it."

She was already staring out the window again. "Good," she said absently. "We can discuss it during the club meeting today."

Was she just planning to wait for her 'mysterious transfer student' to suddenly arrive?

I shook my head as Okabe-sensei entered the room.

* * *

Considering how I'd spent Sunday, the day was comfortably normal, until lunch. As usual, Suzumiya was off like a shot, zipping through the door like an ascending rocket in search of space. She had mentioned to me once that she was checking the school for unusual things, so presumably it was more of the same.

As had become habit, Kunikida and Taniguchi took seats near mine, joining me for lunch as we opened our bentos. "So," Taniguchi began conversationally, looking moody and as though he were trying to be happy about it. I supposed the look might have been called 'resigned'? "You were dating Asahina-san on Sunday, huh?"

I managed not to choke on my steamed vegetables, and just stared at him, unblinking.

Kunikida's expression became curious, and he asked, "What leads you to that conclusion?"

Taniguchi shrugged, hands spread in an exaggerated gesture. "What else can someone think when they see a person they call a friend dating none other than the second year's idol - the adorable, the lovely, the amazing Asahina-san! You'd be hard pressed to find a more popular girl in the entire school!"

Well, I had known she was good looking, well-mannered, and in many senses an ideal example of a girl- The only person I could think of who came close was Asakura Ryouko, and I had to put Asahina-san above the class rep. Her manner was softer, and while both seemed traditional...

Of course, both of them were probably from upright, well-to-do families.

"There's nothing to be jealous of on that front," I answered dryly, taking a moment to compose my response. "While Asahina-san may be an idol, and I have no complaints about her, we were merely walking together in Suzumiya-san's club. It was by coincidence that you saw us together. If you'd been elsewhere, you might have seen me walking with Nagato-san earlier, and Suzumiya-san later."

Taniguchi's eyebrows rose. "Oh?" he wondered. "Say - I don't suppose that means I could have a date with Asahina-san too, if I joined that club? It would be dealing with Suzumiya, but it could be worth it!"

"Oh, my, that doesn't sound very proper," Asakura Ryouko chided us suddenly, unexpectedly joining the conversation.

Taniguchi perked up slightly, distracted from me by the class rep's presence.

"What's this club about that you're spending so much time alone with different girls, Kyon-kun?" she wondered, touching a fingertip to her lower lip, her expression creased with thoughtful concern.

"Ah, you didn't see the fliers that she and Asahina-san were handing out, class rep Asakura?" Kunikida asked, smiling softly. "They were quite fantastic!"

I elected to quietly eat my vegetables and not remark that I'd helped churn those fliers out.

"It's not anything that goes against our regulations or policies, is it?" she wondered.

Taniguchi snorted, shaking his head. "I doubt it," he answered around a mouthful of his rice. Swallowing, he continued, "Just pointless Suzumiya stuff - looking for aliens, evidence of ghosts, saying she's running some agency to solve mysteries and so on."

"I doubt that would be 'improper' in most senses," Kunikida agreed. "Fantastic, perhaps, but Kyon isn't one to do improper things from what I know of him!"

I had to take some small consolation in that, and inclined my head to my classmate from middle school in gratitude for the compliment.

"Hmm," Asakura Ryouko mused, looking suddenly very intently thoughtful. "Is that so?"

Not wanting to bring attention to myself more than necessary, I merely shrugged.

For reasons I could not understand at the time, Asakura Ryouko's lips twisted in a smile. While it entranced Taniguchi, and even Kunikida smiled back, it felt to me a bit _too_ happy.

"I see," she said, giggling. "Well! I'll leave you alone to enjoy your lunch then, boys."

"You can join us," Taniguchi said quickly, gesturing to the nearest empty seat.

Asakura Ryouko shook her head a slight distance and answered, "I'll have to decline, but thank you for the offer anyway."

With that, she walked away, while Taniguchi sighed, and Kunikida offered an amused shrug.

* * *

The club meeting that afternoon was subdued and relaxed. Pleasant company, all told. I didn't know where Suzumiya had found it, but she'd put an electric kettle in, and spent the first half of the club meeting teaching Asahina-san how to use it to make tea. The upperclassman surprised me by not actually knowing how to do it ... but I had to admit, there were some nuances to the process I didn't know myself.

Once she learned how, the upperclassman eagerly parceled out hot tea to everyone in their own cups- Suzumiya had assembled a collection of five, though there were only four of us. A somewhat unlucky number.

I couldn't help but note that each of the cups was remarkably different, but couldn't complain about the one that I was given - an older ceramic handmade vessel, in the wabi-sabi style. It wasn't an old piece, from what I could tell, just something she had dragged up from a box of old things somewhere in her home. I, for one, appreciated the aesthetic of 'imperfect beauty' that the style carried with it.

Asahina-san sat down to join us at the clubroom's table after she'd prepared it, Suzumiya looking particularly proud of imparting the instruction to her.

"Now, Mikuru-chan, what do you think about taking the responsibility within the club for making tea every day?" she asked.

"Oh, I wouldn't mind!" the older girl answered without hesitation. After beaming a smile, she looked thoughtful, tilting her head back and gazing at the ceiling. "Though, I wonder if I'll be any good at it?"

"I think it's nice," I answered quickly. Even if Suzumiya were responsible for most of the work, she had done quite well for her first attempt!

"Then what are your thoughts on a uniform befitting such a station?" Suzumiya answered excitedly. "I've been thinking that it would be fun~! Actually, if I were to bring it in, I might wear it myself!"

I couldn't help but raise my eyebrows at this. "What did you have in mind?" I wondered. "If not the school uniform, anyway."

"A cute girl serving tea? What could be more appropriate than a stewardess?" Suzumiya fired back, as though waiting for my question. "Think about it! Even aliens on an interstellar voyage would have to pause at seeing someone as cute as Mikuru-chan in the outfit of a stewardess!"

"I don't really know what that looks like," Asahina-san admitted, smiling. "Um, but I ... suppose that wouldn't be a problem?"

"How can you not know?" Suzumiya asked in surprise. "It's a very glamorous role! Very well - I'm almost done making the outfit, so tomorrow I'll bring it in and you can try it on!"

"Eh?" Asahina-san squeaked, her smile fading a bit. "H...here?"

"Of course!" Suzumiya said, nodding firmly. "It's fine - it's just us, for now. We'll close the curtains and Kyon will guard the door!" She punctuated her remark with a warning glance at me.

Well... "Of course," I agreed. "But, Suzumiya-san, if you're going to be wearing it as well, why not model it first, so she can see what it is?"

For the merest heartbeat, Suzumiya looked irritated at the suggestion, before she brightened. "You know, that sounds fine!" she said happily. "Why wouldn't I? Of course- You're still going to have to stand outside and guard the door while I change, though!"

That ... seemed more than fair.

"Of course, you'll be getting a bit of a treat, and don't have to dress up," Suzumiya mused quietly. "Well, perhaps as a penalty you would have to wear it!"

My expression alone conveyed my thoughts on that, but she merely smirked in response.

"Okay, I'll be headed out early to finish that, then," she decided, nodding. "In the meantime, you brought that book with you, right, Kyon?"

"Yes," I allowed.

She nodded and held out a hand expectantly. "You said you read the first few chapters, so let me borrow it. Tomorrow, I'll test you to make sure you've been paying attention!"

My thought was that she'd better not get me a penalty on my brand new library card, but I bit my tongue and handed the book over. She flipped it into the air and caught it by the spine casually before stuffing it into her bag and nodding happily.

"And with that, you're dismissed!" she declared, nodding brightly before heading out the door with a spring in her step, humming to herself. It took me a moment to place the tune as Davie Bowie's 'Starman,' but I realized I shouldn't really be surprised.

Asahina-san beamed me a smile. "Would you like some more tea, Kyon-kun?"

I did have some time before clubs officially let out and I could meet ... whoever had sent me that note wanted until then anyway, so why not? "If you don't mind," I said agreeably, glancing over to where Nagato seemed to be nestled in her own aura of contentment, holding a book in one hand, and her cup of tea in the other.

Wasn't that a perfect day at the club? Everyone working together reasonably, and getting to enjoy company like that?

I wished that my school life could continue like that forever.


	3. Part III

Outcast

A Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu fanfiction

by Brian Randall

Disclaimer: The series begun with the light novel 'The Melancholy of Suzumiya Haruhi'/'Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuuutsu' is the creation of Nagaru Tanigawa. No disrespect is intended with the creation of this work.

* * *

After Asahina-san and Nagato finished up and said their goodbyes to me, I waved to the pair of them, then slowly made my way back to my classroom. I was probably stalling for time, still trying to puzzle out who wanted to talk to me - and why.

When I finally pushed the door open and stepped in, I was a bit stunned to see our class representative there, her back to the door. She was holding a book before her, though I didn't see the title when she turned and snapped it shut, giving me a small smile.

"Aha!" Asakura Ryouko said brightly. "You came!"

"Er, yeah," I agreed, scratching my head. "I ... didn't think you were the one who sent me that note."

"Well, it was me! But ... to be honest..." She clasped both hands on the book before her, the title still covered. "Well, I do apologize, but I ended up determining a resolution to the issue that I had called you here to discuss already!"

...I had no real reason to be upset. It had cost me only a few minutes of my time, since it was a detour after I had left the club anyway. "Is that so?" I asked. "What ... was it that I could help you with? And if you resolved it yourself, why did you wait?"

"I asked you here," she said with a small shake of her head. "Isn't it only proper to meet with you and apologize for taking your time?" Her eyes sparkled as her smile widened.

I felt a chill up my spine, feeling inexplicably uncomfortable about the situation. She hadn't answered the first part of my question. "I wish I could have been more helpful to you, then," I said anyway.

"Oh, I've asked all of you that I possibly could already," she said resolutely. "Just continue to be a proper student and keep doing your best!" With that, she released a pleased giggle and traipsed past me to the door.

Bemused, I only watched her leave, scratching the back of my head curiously again. What _was_ that all about?

Well ... there was nothing for it. That had felt like nothing so much as a confusing waste of time!

I set out behind her, closing the door after me- To my surprise, when I reached the hall there was no sign of Asakura Ryouko. Even more unexpectedly, Nagato was standing in the hallway facing the direction I supposed that the class representative must have gone. While she was difficult to read, I could detect subtle clues in her stance.

Her head was slightly bowed, her hands hanging not perfectly loosely, but her fingers curled the slightest bit in. Beyond that, there was an aura clinging to her - a sense of frustration, of anger held just in check.

"Nagato-san?" I asked cautiously.

As though confirming my suspicions, her fingers uncurled, the minuscule trace of anger left her stance. Her head turned, and her eyes met mine, suggesting the merest hint of regret there.

What was going on today?

"I'm headed home," I told her. "Something left to do, here?"

After a pause she answered, "No."

I wasn't sure what it was. As strange as things were, I didn't want to lurk any longer. It was late already. "Well - I'm headed home, so take care, Nagato-san!"

"Yes," she answered again, this time without hesitation.

Thinking that was the end of things, I gave one last nod and headed toward the shoe locker, keenly aware of Nagato's gaze on my back as I left.

* * *

Had I known in advance what awaited me at school the next day, I probably wouldn't have gone. Alas, I did not know, and thus in good spirits, thinking that things were fine and pleasant outside of some small oddities with Asakura Ryouko and Nagato, I went anyway.

Even the climb up the hill seemed less draining than usual. The students I walked with, or that passed me, seemed in equal spirits to mine, soaking up the sun's warmth. As dire as the trudge to school was, I felt we were all comrades - brothers- and sisters-in-arm.

Taniguchi was in the shoe lockers when I reached it, slapping me on the back a bit harder than I would have liked and cheering, "Morning!" before dashing to the classroom ahead of me.

Still not suspecting anything amiss, I opened my shoe locker.

The offering today was not a letter in a neatly folded envelope.

I closed my shoe locker and tried to take stock. I was still dreaming, maybe? I pinched myself, drawing an odd look from a classmate - Goto - as he finished tugging his second shoe on, shrugged, and then walked toward the stairs.

I didn't wake up. Nothing in particular had changed. I tried to convince myself that I was imagining things - I had not seen what I thought I had seen.

Even so, I moved to a position where I could shield the view into my shoe locker from anyone else. I cracked it open, trying to be casual, as though nothing were wrong.

It was what I thought I had seen previously.

What had I done to offend someone? Was it a prank intended for someone else? Did someone spread a rumor of me doing something unforgivable to Asahina-san? Why would someone have done it? I couldn't imagine anyone who had any reason to stuff a dead rat into my shoe locker.

At a loss for what I should do, I resolved to ignore it for the moment. Undoubtedly, it would start to decompose, but it seemed relatively freshly killed. I carefully pulled my shoes from around it, gingerly avoiding contact with the thing. At lunch, I could find a trash bag and more carefully - and discreetly - dispose of it.

As rattled as I was, and as shaken as I felt from the encounter, I stuffed my outdoor shoes into my school bag.

I trudged to the classroom, lost in thought as to why someone would _do_ such a thing. By the time I reached the door, lost in my own thoughts, I had come to the conclusion that it had to have been an accident. It was meant for someone else. I tried to think of the cheer I'd had only minutes before, and put on a mask before stepping into the classroom.

Every student present was animated, the entire room buzzing with murmured conversation that cut off the second I stepped through the door. I was uncomfortably self-conscious - every eye suddenly went to me, and then just as quickly away. Not everyone had arrived yet; Suzumiya herself was absent.

But when my gaze went past her empty seat and found my own desk, as though to confirm what those gazes had suggested... At that point, I knew that the rat wasn't a mistake at all.

Now, I had never had the misfortune to share a class with a student that had passed away, but I knew the tradition the same as anyone else. To mark their passing, a white vase of flowers was placed on their desks.

I wasn't dead, though. Everyone was ignoring me too completely for that.

Perhaps things would have been better if I _were_...

But in this instance, the meaning was clear enough. Someone had _wished_ I were dead, and said it as clearly as if they were to tell me, 'please die!'

I didn't realize I was frozen in the doorway, the entire class and myself equally uncomfortable in this frozen tableau until Kunikida came from behind me, patting me on the back and asking, "What's going..."

That was as far as he got before he processed the entire scene. It was enough to spur me into motion, though.

"A joke," I said uneasily, walking to my desk. I had no desire to keep such a thing- In one motion, I grabbed it and pulled the flowers from the vase, swiftly dashing the water out the window. I tossed the flower and vase into the rubbish bin at the back of the classroom, then dropped into my seat.

It was starting to become clear, what had actually happened. I didn't want to believe or admit it, though.

I tried to ignore the class rep drawing close to Kunikida and whispering something to him - something lost in the other whispers between the rest of the class, as they all set about murmuring.

Suzumiya arrived moments before Okabe-sensei, barely reaching her seat before we were called to stand, bow, and then be seated.

I couldn't focus on my lessons. I tried, but there were too many questions. What had gotten out? I _knew_, on some levels, but I wasn't ready to admit it. Did Suzumiya know? Was that the end of our association?

Was I out of the club?

I didn't have the courage to ask her before class ended, and as was her custom, she was out the door in a flash. Break was a miserable experience, leaving me to feel entirely alone as my classmates continued their rigorous effort to pretend I didn't exist.

I lacked the strength to challenge that ... I didn't have the power to stand and demand that I be recognized- Tell them that I was just like them...

Because through it all ... could I honestly say I _was_?

Suzumiya returned after break, arriving just in time to avoid being caught out by the teacher for being late.

As if things weren't bad enough, the teacher then announced a surprise quiz - in math, my worst subject. Class rep Asakura Ryouko was called to the front to pass our test forms out, and I realized who was really responsible then.

Each test was handed over individually ... except for mine.

That confirmed my suspicion. I'd rather have been assaulted with a knife than have to endure this...

As much as that hurt, I was comforted by Suzumiya, surprisingly enough. "Eh- What's the big deal, Asakura?" she asked sourly, passing her own sheet up to me. "Did you suddenly go blind?"

"My apologies, Suzumiya-san!" Asakura Ryouko said sweetly, smiling at the girl behind me. "I didn't mean to skip you!"

"What are you-"

"Less chatter," our teacher, Nakamura-sensei, interrupted. "Asakura-chan, be seated, and the test will begin."

So, there was _that_ much at least. But was that because Suzumiya was indifferent? Or was it simply that she hadn't been _told_?

I did such a terrible job of focusing that I didn't even bother trying to hand my test in at the end.

Asakura Ryouko didn't even pause to check.

"You need to study harder," Suzumiya grumbled at me, running off again before I could reply at the next break.

Well, why not? If the teachers were at least indifferent, it would be alright, wouldn't it?

That thought in mind, when my best subject came around, I resolved myself to dedicate myself to my studies - to focus on _them_ to the exclusion of all else. The other students wouldn't matter if I could still complete my classes.

It was a feeble hope, but desperation can make a man do mad things.

Suzumiya came into the room, skidding like a manga character and popping into her seat the exact moment that Aoyama-sensei stepped into the room, his mouth drawn into a sour grimace.

I was prepared to be diligent. I was prepared to study. I was prepared to answer almost any question that the thin old man could pose to the entire class.

And still ... I was not prepared for what happened.

His lesson began:

"Tadamichi-san," he said. For anyone else, this is just a name. For me, it's _my_ name. For years, ever since my aunt gave me that nickname, and my little sister reminded everyone of it, I'd longed to be called by that in a respectful tone. Instead, I was called by that nickname I could barely tolerate - but accepted with swallowed pride.

I did not realize that I could like hearing the suddenly excessive formality of my proper name even _less_ than my hated nickname until just that moment.

But that's a digression.

"Tadamichi-san, please stand." Despite my thoughts on my name at just that moment, I rose to my feet. "Now, can you tell the class about the lowest class of people in the system that the Tokugawa Shogunate established?"

"Yes, Aoyama-sense," I replied. This question was trivial. "The four divisions of society were gentry, farmers, artisans, and merchants. The lowest of these castes-"

He interrupted me with a rough, "We're looking below that, Tadamichi-san."

I was shaken. The very thing that had marked _my_ family through the years and generations, and he had pointed it out first thing in the class.

"That... Burakumin, who reside in what we now call hisabetsu-buraku," I answered. At least by current standards, 'discriminated village' was the correct term, and the people who lived in them would naturally be called 'villagers'; these things scarcely deserved to be explained. "They- The lowest class formally recognized by the Tokugawa Shogunate was formed of outcast members of society. Special tax exemptions were offered because at the time taxes were in rice, and burakumin were not allowed to own-"

"What was the period name for 'burakumin'?" Aoyama-sensei asked, interrupting me again.

My mouth dried out. "That is... At the time, they were called 'eta'." I didn't know how my voice remained so steady. How I didn't rasp that, or falter... "The term meant 'abundance of filth'."

"The term's meaning has not changed," Aoyama-sensei said flatly. "What people comprised this group?"

"Those ... with occupations considered 'unclean'," I answered. I felt as though part of my brain had simply left, abandoning me to spout my knowledge unchecked. But then, if I had the wherewithal, what could I really have done differently? "Both physically unclean occupations such as the execution of convicts and leather-working, and spiritually unclean occupations such as slaughtering animals and grave-digging.

"H-however, in eighteen-sixty-nine, the feudal system ended, and in eighteen-seventy-one burakumin were officially given equal legal status." This last I added quickly, unable to keep a small hint of desperation from my voice. Never mind the commonly recognized judgment in only eighteen-fifty-one that a burakumin's life was 'worth only one seventh of a man's.'

There were tales of cruel samurai who would cut down people to test the sharpness of their swords. The practice - tsujigiri - commonly targeted poorer merchants ... or burakumin. A samurai killing a burakumin ... such a thing wasn't even a crime.

The rest of the class didn't respond, other than Suzumiya, who released a quiet, confused noise, looking between me and Aoyama-sensei as though she were trying to puzzle things out.

"Be seated, Tadamichi-san," Aoyama-sensei said in a bored tone.

I sat down stiffly, wishing for that long ago time - yesterday - when I was mildly disappointed with being the teacher's favorite student.

From there, the lesson became one I'd normally expect ... except for the fact that I couldn't focus on it.

When lunch came around, I couldn't muster the courage to turn and face Suzumiya before she ran off. Had she figured it out? Would someone corner her at lunch and tell her? Would she corner someone else and demand the explanation from them? And the kind Asahina-san, from her proper family? Or Nagato, who had helped me out before?

I didn't know how to deal with any of it. A simple _glance_ showed me that Kunikida and Taniguchi, both of them a bit pale, were busily eating together, studiously pretending I didn't exist. Asakura Ryouko was chatting with a quartet of girls in a businesslike voice, though I couldn't make their discussion out.

I slowly rose from my seat, unable to eat just yet. Before anything else, there was still that rat to dispose of. I stumbled to the shoe locker, finding a trash bag on the way and taking care of it - throwing it into a waste bin when there weren't too many eyes on me.

My mind was on automatic, like a runaway car, unguided, unthinking.

How would I tell Suzumiya? _Would_ I? Or would she discover it on her own, and I would simply be dismissed from the club that had never even fully formed? In a daze, I returned to the classroom.

With a heavy heart, I stopped at my desk, not even sitting down.

I stared at my bento in dismay, my eyes stinging. Of course, I hadn't brought it with me when I left the classroom. Some 'clever' classmate... No. They had stopped being my classmates. They were just students. Whoever it had been, someone had unwrapped my lunch and dropped the entire bento on the floor, spilling the contents out.

Some of the other students had doubts about the way I was being treated. I could see that neither Kunikida or Taniguchi were amused, even if they said nothing, and wouldn't meet my gaze. I could see some of the other students unsuccessfully hiding smirks, or just plain disgusted looks. A few were outwardly indifferent, busy ignoring me and everything else.

I picked up the cloth that had been left on my seat, and then the bento. For a moment, I considered cleaning up the mess. For another moment, I considered trying to say goodbye to Taniguchi and Kunikida. There was still an untidy pile of rice and vegetables on the floor, the day's special treat of daikon radish to one side - cut into the shape of a flower by my mother.

The imprint of someone's shoe was conspicuous where it had been crushed. It's strange what you observe when you're numb from shock, your mind overwhelmed and simply not knowing what to react to.

After re-wrapping my bento and reclaiming my bag, seemingly untampered with, I methodically cleaned my desk out, taking up the rest of my books.

No one said a word to me before I left the room.

When I went to the office to turn my books in and request my withdrawal forms, I found someone had already filled them out; the clerk who didn't meet my eyes needed only my books and my signature.

And so, that was my last day at Kitago.

* * *

Leaving the school grounds felt like passing through a magical barrier. I felt simultaneously free and unbelievably heavy - as though any step could send me hurtling like a UFO descending into the atmosphere. I was headed home. There was no particular reason to prefer home over any other place, but the point was that I was leaving.

Only half a block from the school, a patrol car rolled up beside me, a heavyset police officer with gray hair leaning out the window. "Young man," he called in a surprisingly kind voice, which arrested my forward motion. "What are you doing heading away from school?"

He wasn't a simple truancy officer, but I was still wearing my uniform, wasn't I? "I dropped out," I admitted shakily.

"Really?" he asked, looking more surprised than I would have expected, then turning to glance at his partner behind the wheel. "Ah- Well, you look troubled! Let us offer you a ride home, then. We can spare you being questioned by any truancy officers, right?"

"Sure," I agreed quietly, climbing into the back of the car. The officer's partner was a much younger-looking man, who nodded at me, but mostly was focused on the road. I gave them directions to my parents' home.

"So," the first officer said warmly, "this school didn't work out?"

"...I didn't fit in," I agreed, turning to stare out the window as the car lurched into motion.

"You certainly look troubled," he said, nodding. "You were still wearing your indoor shoes!"

I hadn't even realized, but quietly changed them.

"I bet you could transfer, easy," the driver said, guiding the car down the hill. "There's a lot of schools in this town - Kitago's a tough one, but it's brand new, isn't it?"

"Yeah..."

"The important thing is not to give up," the first officer contributed. "Whatever happens. So are you going to try for another school?"

"I don't know yet," I sighed.

"Hey, hey! You can't give up - you're just getting started! Sometimes you get thrown a curve, or knocked down - but that didn't stop your ancestors, did it? So no matter what happens, you keep fighting! Maybe the battle to stay at that school is lost ... but the war to get a proper education can still go on!"

I slowly turned to look at the officer. He was twisted halfway around, giving me a strangely intent look. Was he refering to _my_ ancestors specifically? Or just people in general?

I didn't really feel it, but I nodded at him. "You're right," I said. I did have my paperwork. Turning 'dropping out' into 'transferring' would be a trial as well, though. I didn't know if I had the strength for it. But in honesty, I could say, "That is an option."

As though the matter were settled, the gray-haired man's face split in a grin, and he nodded, turning back to face forward.

The rest of the ride - normally a real treat - was in silence. They stopped before my house to let me out, both of the officers insisting, "Take care, young man! And good luck!"

I had to think that there was at least some kindness left in the world ... but would they still have been so kind if they knew _why_ I had dropped out?

My mother looked up in surprise from folding her laundry in the living room when I came home. "You're home early, Kyon-kun!" she exclaimed. "Did something happen?"

I'll admit, as kind as the officers had been, the warmth of home was enough to let the final barriers collapse. Man or not, as the door closed behind me, I wept.

* * *

After my mother had given me some soup to make up for the missed lunch, I went to lay down and try to rest. The ordeals of the day still wore on me.

I hadn't gotten to say farewell to anyone, but could that be for the best? Suzumiya seemed not to fully grasp what was going on. I had no idea if Asahina-san or Nagato knew. The idea of any of them scorning me hurt ... and if they didn't, I could only hurt their reputations and standing if they continued to associate with me.

I spent some amount of time trying to convince myself that they were better served by my sudden absence rather than any goodbye.

Some time later, my mother knocked on my door and let herself in, announcing, "I've called my brother down, so he'll be in tonight or tomorrow. I need to wait by the phone. That aside, you can't shut yourself in all day, so put on some different clothes and go fetch your sister from school."

"Yes," I agreed, sitting up. She nodded and closed the door.

So, farewell to the Kitago uniform. I wasn't a student, so there was no reason to wear it, was there? In the meantime ... what should I do with myself? My family wasn't about to move again - like we had when I finished grade school.

We couldn't afford it. At the same time, how long would it be before everyone I could find work from knew? Naturally ... there were some jobs that my family's status wouldn't be a bar to getting. I did have my middle school diploma.

Such a thing was sometimes jokingly called proof of graduating a 'yakuza finishing school.'

Considering how hard my parents and I had worked to come as far as we had, the idea lacked appeal.

Then again ... something like sixty percent of yakuza were buraku, since little else would welcome them.

I was able to put those thoughts from my mind, thinking about my sister. What about her reputation? Her friends in her grade school? Was she having a day as poor as mine?

I had to hope not.

But if she was, then my mother was right, and I had to be there for her.

I dressed in my casual clothes, feeling strange to wear something other than my school uniform. The same shabby and worn clothing I'd managed to avoid wearing when I went to meet Suzumiya and the others, just two days ago.

I reached the gate of the school shortly after the bell rang. My sister's jubilant glee was too pronounced to make me think anything bad had happened to her. I just had to hope no one knew about _me_, and my presence hadn't somehow ruined things for her.

"Kyon-kun~!" she chirped, slamming into me like a clingy medicine ball. "Where's mom?"

"She's at home, waiting for a phone call from Uncle Keiichi," I answered. "Let's go meet her, alright, Imouto?"

"Okay!" my sister agreed. Turning to a classmate of hers she added, "See you tomorrow, Miyokichi!"

"Bye, Kyon-kun!" my sister's friend answered, waving to both of us pleasantly. "See you tomorrow, Nono-chan!"

Walking my sister home ... even if I was an unemployed high school dropout, that helped me feel a bit better about things.

* * *

Still undecided about how to proceed, I got up at the time I was supposed to the next day. For once, I woke up on time without any help from my sister ... ecxept, without any school to attend. My mother approved of me getting up early, naturally.

Before leaving for his unforgiving factory job, my father said nothing more than, "I trust your judgment, Son."

So the morning was spent puttering around the house, keeping myself busy with the tasks my father was frequently too busy to help with. At the end of things, it was mostly just killing time. Before it was time for lunch, I picked up the newspaper my father had left behind, half-heartedly looking at jobs.

My search was interrupted by a knock at the door. My mother answered it before I could, and I started slightly to see her brother - my uncle Keiichi - there, carrying a heavy-looking paper bag in one hand, and a travel bag in the other.

"Imouto," he greeted her, giving her a hug before kicking his shoes off and joining me at the table, setting the bags to one side. "Kyon-kun! Sorry about the delay - I ended up getting side-tracked on my way in, but I have some excellent news!"

"One thing at a time," my mother countered. "Let me make you some tea, Nii-san."

"Aha- Thanks, Imouto," Uncle Keiichi chuckled. Turning to me, his typically smiling face turned to solemn concern. "And how are you holding up, Kyon-kun?"

"I'm still alive," I allowed, folding the paper up. "Just trying to keep myself busy."

My uncle was a lawyer - he'd frequently been offered positions in the Burakumin Liberation League, but didn't wholly approve of their methods. I couldn't quite blame him, honestly. Kidnapping officials to admonish them was unpleasant in the extreme. When they were more reasonable, and pursuing proper legal action, they frequently hired him to advocate cases, however.

It was nice that he was showing his support, but I didn't want to be involved in such a lawsuit. Certainly, it wouldn't be fast.

"You want to keep going to school, right?" he prompted, grinning.

Well, of course I did. But Kitago was out of my reach.

"Okay- It's not the greatest school, but I checked around on my way in- That's why I was late. I happened to run into the principal of Hikami Gakuen at the prefectural office when I was doing some preliminary research. He recognized me from a case a few years back.

"And you know what? Just like our family, he's mura-no-mono, too!" my uncle proclaimed proudly. It was a bit strange to hear that term - the polite one, that we called ourselves - after the previous day. When not being politically correct, 'people of the village' was just fine.

But- Wait. "There's a school principal who's one of us?" I blurted out in surprise.

"He doesn't see any reason to hide it," Uncle Keiichi declared staunchly. "Again, the school's reputation isn't great. You'll need to work even harder to get into a very good university ... but that's not the point."

Latching on almost instantly, my mother joined in, "But this means Kyon-kun can go back to school? He can attend Hikami Gakuen instead of Kitago?"

"That's right! Hashimoto-sensei was just as appalled to hear what happened at Kitago as I was. He said he would do whatever it took- He said he would be willing to accept your attendance as early as Friday - the day after tomorrow." Hefting the paper bag he'd set aside, my uncle added, "I may have been too hasty, but when he gave me the specifications for the school uniform, I picked one up for you straight away!"

"That's wonderful! Thank you, Nii-san!" my mother gushed, dropping to her knees to give her brother a hug.

I was overwhelmed, myself! I knew about Hikami Gakuen - its reputation was actually rather poor. It was considered the delinquent capital of the city, among other things.

But...

It was still a _school_. And I, for one, knew better than to judge so simply. For the second time in as many days, I felt my eyes sting. "T-thank you, Uncle Keiichi," I managed, scooting back from the table to bow in gratitude.

"H-hey!" he said, laughing in embarrassment. "Come on, now; we're family! I'd have to do this for you, if I wanted to keep calling myself that! And I know things might be tough for Nono-chan, too."

"But you've done so much!" my mother insisted. "Thank you again, Nii-san!"

I didn't need to think about it. Certainly, I wasn't going to tell my uncle he'd gotten a uniform I wouldn't be using. If a chance like this came along, I was going to take it, the same way a floundering man in the sea would use anything he could find for flotation.

"In the meantime," Uncle Keiichi continued, "the league is eager to get into this upset. Kyon-kun, I'm guessing you don't want to deal with the stress, so I'll be in town for a few more days in case any reporters or league representatives try and recruit you. I'll see if we can't get them to help with the proper legal course of matters."

"Thanks again, Nii-san!" my mother said happily. "Now- How about some lunch?"

"That'd be great!" my uncle said enthusiastically.

And even though I missed what I lost, I couldn't help but be more confident about things, too.

* * *

Hikami Gakuen was not as pretty and new a school as Kitago. It instead looked like something built almost immediately following World War II. Despite that, it wasn't a delinquent-filled war zone, as I'd feared. The grounds looked a bit shabby, but given the decades of students it had seen come and go, that was more than reasonable.

The name could be read as 'top of the day,' but I had heard that some students used the more derisive interpretation of 'above the gutter' with the implication that it wasn't above by much.

That didn't bother me.

My withdrawal paperwork from Kitago was taken without hesitation; Hikami Gakuen's entrance requirements were more relaxed than my previous school. If I had passed a more stringent test, I could evidently be given a pass. That suited me fine.

The new costume was a gakuran-style uniform, more militaristic than the relaxed suits worn at Kitago, but somehow comfortably familiar. It wasn't that different from my middle school uniform, really.

I did have to travel further to attend classes, almost an hour by train, but the dreaded hill was no longer part of the picture.

I didn't care for the attention on me being announced as a transfer student, but it wasn't as though I could just sneak in, was it? And so, wanting to make a good impression I made my introduction, spelling my name on the chalkboard and bowing to my new classmates.

They bowed back and greeted me, "Welcome," in a single voice - which wasn't unpleasant at all. My new classmates seemed much more strongly disciplined than my old ones.

So... Was my background known? I doubted it. Truthfully, I doubted most of the students at this school would even care that much - certainly not as much as those at Kitago did. The principal himself made no effort to hide _his_ lineage. With that, I made up my mind to just settle in and do my best to get along.

I enjoyed some unexpected popularity from the other students once the lunch bell rang - questions about the circumstances of my transfer, naturally:

"Why did you leave your old school?"

"Isn't Kitago better than this place?"

"I heard there's some team of lawyers going after one of Kitago's history teachers for something! Have you heard anything about it?"

That last made me wonder what my uncle was up to, but I earnestly answered: "I just want to be a student. I left Kitago because of some unfortunate circumstances. They aren't worth discussing, really."

The class representative was a boy with the family name of Munemoto, slightly taller than me and wearing spectacles. He admonished my new classmates: "Alright- Let's give Tadamichi some space. We'll be sharing the class with him for the rest of the year, after all!"

Most of my classmates backed off at that, but among those who remained was a short pretty girl with her hair in a pair of pigtails. With a shy smile, eyes glinting, she asked, "Tadamichi-kun, do you have a girlfriend?"

I thought her name was Nozomu. Beside her was a stout boy who looked like he could cause some damage in a fight - not that I had any intention to get into one. His name was Gen'e. "Tadamichi, you interested in joining the baseball team?" he asked in a gruff voice, but with a friendly smile.

"Nothing like that," I answered both of them, shaking my head. "I'm really trying to focus on my studies more than anything- I have to catch up after my transfer! But I'd be happy to make friends out of my classmates."

"You know," Nozomu said thoughtfully, touching a fingertip to her lower lip, "there's another boy who transfered in today, too? Hey, hey! Why don't you come with me, so we can go meet him, too?"

Not really sure what to expect, I shrugged, agreeing, "Why not?"

Certainly, I didn't want to make a bad impression... Even if I _did_ want to focus on my studies, Nozomu seemed like a friendly girl, and Gen'e was affable as well. I followed them from the classroom while class representative Munemoto shook his head.

Thinking nothing in particular, I was led to a classroom down the hall, where I encountered the other transfer student. He looked comfortable with the attention he was receiving, which I had to feel a little jealous of. Though I'm not given to admiring the looks of other men, I could recognize that most girls would find him handsome.

This wasn't my analysis from watching him, but my realization from seeing the girls surrounding him.

"Hello, new transfer student!" Nozomu declared, waving brightly. "You're the second student we've welcomed today - so I wanted to introduce you to the other!"

While I didn't know the circumstances of this introduction, the other boy quickly rose from his seat, bowing in introduction. I could only return it politely, all things considered.

"Koizumi Itsuki," he announced himself, smiling brightly.

I gave him my own name, of course, and his eyebrows rose. "Is that so... I've heard of you," he remarked, which made my relaxed expression slip a bit.

He continued, unperturbed, adding, "I hope we can get along and become friends- In fact, perhaps since we are both new here, and just as behind on lessons, we should form a study group?"

"Oh, my, that's diligent!" Nozomu remarked, eyebrows rising. "If either of you join the art club, you'll be able to spend time with me!"

"And, the baseball club can use more members," Gen'e contributed weakly, his rueful smile suggesting he knew his recruitment drive was a lost cause. "Well - if you care to join us just for practice, that would be fine, too!"

"My studies are a bit behind," I admitted, scratching the back of my head. Really ... while I could avoid him, I'd rather find out if this new presence intended trouble for me or not. I hoped it wasn't trouble, at least.

Nozomu pouted, and half of the girls surrounding Koizumi made unhappy noises.

"Well, could we meet in front of the offices after classes and discuss it further, then?" Koizumi posed, smiling.

"Sure," I agreed. "That works perfectly for me. Well- I should eat my lunch, and I'm guessing you'd like to do the same. Take care, Koizumi-san."

"You as well, Tadamichi-san."

I felt that logically, I should be more apprehensive about the fact that I might be 'outed' after such a short time at the new school, walking back to my own class. Nozomu chattered on about the art club, and her friends there, but my mind was on recent events.

Somehow, I realized I expected my reputation to follow me. The cat was out of the bag, so to speak. Being revealed so soon would actually be a relief in some ways, because I expected this school - at least most of it - would accept me. And having the truth out there, wouldn't that spare me building friendships, only to see them turn?

Those thoughts on my mind, I managed to smile and nod at Nozomu as she continued to chatter at me all through lunch. What would she really think? Well, I wouldn't worry too much.

If nothing else, by transferring schools, I could try and look at the positive! I'd finally lost the annoying 'Kyon' nickname!

...I'd take that back to have enjoyed the sense of acceptance and belonging I had with Asahina-san, Nagato ... and Suzumiya. But time flows like water - in one direction.

No matter how much we might sometimes wish otherwise.

* * *

After class let out, I was given a free pass on cleaning duties as part of my welcome. I thanked my classmates for letting me in on the fun of dodging that responsibility already, and then went to meet Koizumi as he'd requested.

"So, you wanted to meet me?" I asked cautiously as I approached. He was holding some papers in his hand, and I had the sense he was holding something back from me already. What were those papers, anyway?

"That's right!" he said, still giving me that same smile. "I was hoping to speak to you alone for a very simple matter, though."

"And what's that?"

"Two things, actually," he said. "Firstly, I wanted to expand on something I said earlier - I've heard of you, and I know why you left Kitago."

What I had thought was my calm broke instantly, and I felt my knees shake. I managed to keep my voice steady, even if I did have to put a hand on the wall to steady myself. "Is that so?" I asked.

"But the reason I'm telling you is that it means nothing negative to me," he added quickly, his smile fading slightly. "I admire your resolve, after all. Discrimination is unpleasant for any student. For myself, hoping I can trust you with information of equal importance to me ... school life in Tokyo was difficult due to the threat of my Korean ancestry being discovered."

There was an eye-opening remark. Buraku were not the only people with difficulties in Japan.

This did tell me what he _really_ meant when he approached me. There was the question of how he had found out, but the circumstances of my departure were no great mystery. I could expect that Kitago would probably try their best to be quiet about it, naturally, but students talked, and so...

"Thank you for that trust," I allowed. "I understand what sharing that means." Glancing at the papers in his hand I asked, "What is the other thing, then?"

"I was serious about forming a study group," he answered, his smile seeming suddenly more natural, less forced. "There are others within the school, but the faculty has agreed to provide us with a room in the clubhouse. Given our various reasons, I was thinking that the official surface of the group would be 'a study group for transfer students', at least to start."

That seemed reasonable. The safest thing in the world, honestly. After all, how many other transfer students would there be? "And what will we really be doing?" I wondered.

"If not studying, I would hope we could be friends," he answered simply, shrugging. "Perhaps we could play board games, or cards?"

...I could think of worse ways to end my first day at a new school. "That sounds fine, actually," I agreed, finding my own smile.

"Then bring one of these back tomorrow," he said, handing over a club enrollment form. "And that should be that!"

Ah, yes. The new school schedule would have me attending class every other Saturday, as opposed to Kitago's schedule. "That sounds good to me," I agreed, taking the sheet and putting it carefully in my bag. "Well, I hope we can be friends, too. Take care, Koizumi-kun."

"And you as well, Tadamichi-kun!"

* * *

After that pleasant surprise, I had expected my life to settle into comfortable, predictable patterns once more. I filled out Koizumi's form, and the next day after class, we spent a while working on our homework together. Even if we were in different classes, the assignments were the same, after all.

When we finished, we played a few hands of cards while I waited for my train. While he was friendly enough, Koizumi wasn't very good. He was a good sport, though, and merely complimented me on my strategy and preparation, remarking he was trying to improve himself in those areas as well.

After that, considering how stressful my week had been, I was content to sleep through almost all of Sunday...

...or would have been. I couldn't entirely escape reminders of what had happened, and one of them was Nagato's book. I wasn't sure how to return it to her, though. I didn't know where she lived, and I had my own school to attend, so I could hardly lurk around Kitago to return it.

Not that I wanted to be near Kitago, and those unwelcoming faces.

It put me in a bit of a melancholy mood when I got to class early the next Monday. I knew I should be cheerful, but isn't it human nature to wish for more than you have? I was certainly feeling human.

Nozomu's cheerful smile or Munemoto's nod of acknowledgement weren't unwelcome, but...

Well. I thought I should be working harder to try and forget about those who I was unable to let go of.

I sat at attention with the rest of the class as my new homeroom teacher announced a new transfer student. While it was unusual, I didn't particularly mind; it would help draw attention away from me. And at the end of the day, that suited me well.

Or so I thought.

I had largely tuned out the introduction, my mind blank as I trawled through my memories. It was really as though I could hear Suzumiya's voice, it seemed so keen. I could imagine her saying something along the lines of hoping she got along with everyone and enjoying her time here-

Then I nearly fell out of my chair-

At the front of the class, beaming a bright devil-may-care smile, still wearing her Kitago uniform, our new transfer student was none other than Suzumiya herself!

I stared in disbelief, eyes widening. Why on earth would _she_ be here? She caught my gaze instantly, and in blatant defiance of the laws of nature, her grin intensified. "Hi, Kyon!" she called happily, waving.

My heart stopped in my chest for a moment.

"Kyon?" Nozomu wondered from my side, turning to look at me curiously. "Is that your nickname?"

"No-" I started.

"Of course it is!" Suzumiya countered without hesitation, crossing her arms over her chest and nodding confidently. "All of Kyon's friends know that Kyon is Kyon!"

"I like it!" Nozomu exclaimed, grinning. "That's a very fitting nickname!" Realizing she was speaking in class, Nozomu popped to her feet and bowed to the teacher. "Sensei- Since Kyon-kun and Suzumiya-chan are friends, may I offer this seat for her?"

"That's fine, Nozomu-chan- Take the seat by Munemoto-kun. We'll do the lottery and reassign seating on Friday. In the meantime..." Our homeroom teacher paused thoughtfully, then nodded. "Kyon-kun, please take responsibility and show Suzumiya-san around the school, as you're already friends, and you've been here longer."

"U...understood, Sensei," I yelped.

"Now- Let us welcome your new classmate!"

I don't know if I was the loudest, but thinking of my _own_ welcome just a few days previously, when we bowed and greeted her, I felt mine might have been the most sincere.

Still grinning, Suzumiya marched to the desk that Nozomu had eagerly vacated and dropped into her new seat next to mine. My mind burned with a thousand unanswered questions, but I didn't know where to start - and we were in class anyway! How would I get a chance to talk to Suzumiya and ask her what had happened? Wasn't she far too good for this school?

As it turned out ... I didn't have to ask many questions - which was just as well, since I still wasn't sure where to begin when home room ended, and she was swarmed by my new classmates.

"Ah, Suzumiya-chan! Why did you leave Kitago? Is it for the same reason as Kyon?"

That added the question of my nickname spreading faster than wildfire to the list, but that was a minor concern.

"I left Kitago because I got in trouble for punching the class rep," Suzumiya answered without hesitation.

What?! Suzumiya hit Asakura Ryouko?

Munemoto's eyes widened and he took a step back, alarmed. The rest of the class gasped; not what I would have expected from 'the delinquent capital of the city.'

"C...can I ask why?" Nozomu asked in surprise.

"Long story," Suzumiya said with a shrug. "They were going to let me slide, but by that point I didn't like the school anymore anyway. Stuffy, stupid, and way too intolerant! More importantly ... what I was looking for wasn't there." This last she said with an evasive glance, almost meeting my eyes, but not quite.

Ignoring the others for the moment, Suzumiya shook her head and turned to regard me. "I'm glad to see you here, Kyon! I was worried I'd be stuck in another class! It's too bad Yuki isn't with us, but isn't this lucky?"

"I don't know what to say!" I managed to eke out, before the next teacher arrived, and everyone quickly hurried to their desks.

What a day!

* * *

Instead of running off between classes to explore, Suzumiya waited patiently at her desk with the rest of the class, answering questions from our classmates. I could sense that she wished she wasn't being bothered, but she remained polite about her responses anyway.

"Are you into any sports?"

"Not enough to join a club."

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

"No one at Kitago, but I'm not looking!"

"What did the class rep at your old school do?"

"Not worth talking about anymore."

I was impressed at her patience, considering how I'd seen her respond to people before. She may have been a bit blunt, but it was clear that things had changed for her. Instead of snapping that she had no time for normal humans, she bore their questions with enough determination to maintain a polite facade.

Unfortunately, even by the time lunch had rolled around, I hadn't been able to think of the right questions to ask. At the same time, Suzumiya bounced to her feet the moment the bell rang and rounded on me. "Well?" she prompted. "You're going to show me around, so where's the cafeteria?" Of course, even as she said this, she was holding what looked like her _own_ bento to me...

I did happen to know where the cafeteria was, even though I always brought a bento as well. "Er, it's this way, Suzumiya-san," I said with a helpless shrug. If she wanted to see it, I would show her the way.

For reasons that I couldn't fathom, Nozomu smirked and gave me a wink on the way out the door, Suzumiya dogging my heels. It didn't take us long to reach the crowd of students jockeying for position to get the good breads before they were gone. I worried for those poor students who might be standing in Suzumiya's way once she decided to charge in, but she merely raised her eyebrows.

"If this is as bad as it gets, the 'delinquent capital of the city' is a bit overrated," she remarked, shaking her head. "But I expected this, which is why I brought a bento today anyway!"

"But you wanted me to show you where the cafeteria was anyway?" I asked, looking at her sidelong.

"Well, I want you to show me the entire school, at some point," she corrected me. "But more than that, I want to talk with you!" Her smiling expression faded to a pensive look. "Is there a place we can have lunch, just the two of us? I've got a lot of questions, and there's quite a bit I want to say, too!"

I shouldn't have been surprised. "I know a place," I agreed. Suzumiya's smile returned, but this time it was closer to her 'ready to challenge the world' grin.

She paced at my side in perfect step, eyebrows rising as we walked to the detached club building. With some small sense of trepidation, I opened the door to the clubroom that Koizumi and I shared. Not entirely surprising, he was sitting at the table inside, finishing his own bento.

"Who's this?" he asked with a curious smile.

Well, I wasn't certain how to tell him to leave me and Suzumiya alone to talk, so answered, "I didn't expect to see you here, Koizumi-kun. This is Suzumiya Haruhi-san, from Kitago; she transfered in today. Suzumiya-san, this is Koizumi Itsuki-kun."

"We seem to be flooded with potential candidates for our study group," he remarked with a chuckle, rising from his seat and bowing.

"Any friend of Kyon's is a friend of mine," Suzumiya declared without pause, nodding.

"Hmm, if you two are friends, then I think I should give you some time to talk," the other boy said, tapping his chin thoughtfully. "Well- I hope to see you again soon, Suzumiya-san. Good luck in your recruiting attempt, Kyon-kun!"

With that, he chuckled again, gathering up his empty bento and stepping outside.

That was certainly thoughtful of him.

Suzumiya made a thoughtful noise as she set her lunch down, surveying the space we had. In terms of size, it seemed identical to the club room at Kitago. For furniture, there was a similar table, and a pair of much shorter bookshelves. The same standardized folding chairs were stacked against the wall, with the one Koizumi had been using set up at the table still. Since it was a single story building, the view was not particularly spectacular, though.

All of that was aside from the point.

"Did you really punch Asakura Ryouko?" I blurted out, unable to refine my questions.

Suzumiya's smile fell. "Well, yeah," she sighed. "You know, _she_ was the one responsible for spreading those rumors about you."

I had thought as much. Unfortunately, that did suggest a miscommunication.

"It... Suzumiya-san," I said uneasily, still standing, "it wasn't a rumor. I don't ... want to mislead you. What was said about my family ... is how it is." Turning my gaze to the floor, I stared at my shoes. "I am mura-no-mono."

I felt a rush of shock pass through my system as Suzumiya replied, "Oh, I don't care. It was a rumor, even if it was true. Being passed around behind your back by cowards who were willing to pick on you, but ashamed to speak to your face - judging you for something that wasn't your choice?" She sighed, crossing her arms over her chest and tilting her head to one side, eyes closed. "Well... Listen to me, alright? I have to tell you everything that happened, I think."

"Okay, Suzumiya-san," I agreed shakily.

"You just suddenly vanished on me - and everyone was acting funny, too. Weird enough Aoyama wasted class time on being such a stodgy ass- At the time I didn't know why he was making you regurgitate that shameful piece of trivia ... but I guess he showed us that it's not _trivia_, it's a prejudice that old bastards like him and those other idiots still can't let go of!

"But I didn't know that- I just thought he was being weird. You looked really jumpy, but I thought I could talk to you about it at the club. Except when I got back from lunch, you were _gone_. Sure, I might think you had spilled your bento, but I couldn't think of reasons why you might leave the room - and I couldn't imagine you not cleaning up your lunch if you meant to come back."

"You remember what I eat every day?" I wondered.

"Well, your mom doesn't change what she cooks very often," Suzumiya returned softly, opening her eyes and looking away.

Wasn't that the truth!

Shaking her head, she continued, "I thought it was a temporary thing, but when class ended and you hadn't returned, I was sure something was up. Once you missed the club meeting, that seemed to confirm it! Of course, no one was telling me anything, but I poked around- Found that vase and flowers in the trash. You didn't look like a ghost to me, but I realized people must have been picking on you.

"The next day, you were still gone, and they didn't even call your name for attendance? They didn't announce you transferring out, they were just acting like you'd never been there! It wasn't like a well done conspiracy, or a complex cover-up - it was just people being _jerks_. So I cornered Asakura. As the class rep, wouldn't she know?

"So she got this smug look on her face, acting all superior and haughty, and - would you believe it - that stupid... She had a copy of Tokushu Buraku Chimei Soukan!"

I spluttered in surprise. Only a few years ago, that book had come to light- Even though there were laws to make identifying burakumin harder, that book was one of the tools that discriminators used to track and confirm burakumin identities.

"So she knew what she'd done - she was _proud_ of it!" Suzumiya exclaimed, some shadow of the anger she must have shown Asakura Ryouko crossing her features. "Worse ... she acted like she'd done me some _favor_! So I didn't really _think_ about it, I just remembered what you said, about... Well, with Mikuru-chan, and being accepted. And I was _so mad_ ... I just punched her." She sighed, that shadow of anger vanishing. "She's a total bitch, though, so I can't regret it that much...

"After that I went to the office to try and find out what happened to you, but they wouldn't tell me. Then the teacher caught up with me, and they gave me some lecture about how because of my grades, they'd let me stay at school even after hitting Asakura, blah blah, proper behavior and so on - but I didn't care. I didn't want to stay at a school with discriminating bastards like Aoyama and intolerant idiots like Asakura! So I told them where they could stuff the apology they expected me to give her!

"Of course, if I thought the _school_ was bad, then even my _parents_ gave me trouble! I've never been so disappointed to be related to them in all my life- And we got into a fight about school, and..." She paused, and I winced, realizing that even if she wasn't going to say it, it was her association with _me_ that had caused such strife.

"Well, I decided to run away," she said, spreading her hands in a shrug. "I'm old enough to live on my own!"

"What- Where will you stay? How on earth..."

I trailed off as she grinned and raised a fingertip, waggling it in the air. "Through it all, I've learned who I _really_ want to keep as friends," she explained, eyes glowing with confidence. "Did you know, the second she found out that both of us left Kitago, Yuki quit, too? We'd traded addresses the day you vanished, just in case- Evidently her parents are loaded!

"And she mentioned they're from somewhere north of Tokyo, so they don't care- But she has a house, so she said I should move in with her."

"Nagato dropped out, too?" I exclaimed. This was too much! "And Asahina-san?"

"You know, that girl - she used her family's connections- I don't know who they are, but they must be pretty powerful! They were able to find out where you went ... so we decided to come here, as well!"

"How- But you were going to Kitago! You were able to be with your parents! How could you throw that all away?" I asked, aghast. I had never wanted Suzumiya to ruin her life like that!

"How could I _stay_?" she countered, the glow in eyes igniting as her voice filled with energy. "I was looking for aliens, time travelers, and espers - and I still want to find them! But how the hell can I be proud of the world I'm from when it's full of ignorant people who embrace discrimination for the dumbest of all reasons? How can I smile and play with them where there are important problems that need to be overcome?

"Maybe to a time traveler, there's no problem, because those things have all gone away- Well, that's great, but doesn't that mean that now, we have to work on fixing those issues? And to an alien, we're _all_ different from them, so if aliens wouldn't care about someone's background, why should _we_? Espers are trickier - but they shouldn't care about much except the way people _think_.

"But," she continued in a softer tone, "I don't really think any of them would want to be around a place filled with idiots like Kitago. In any case ... while I still want to search, I can't afford to be blind to the fact that we can do a lot to help this world and the people in it be fun and interesting to the aliens and espers and so on. I realized ... what I was really hoping for when I told you about that trip to the baseball stadium.

"I realized even more that I think I know what _you_ meant when you talked about acceptance and getting along. And I think I know why you're so polite, trying to put up barriers to protect yourself from some people- Well, that's enough of that! Kyon, from now on you can call me 'Haruhi'. I won't accept another 'san' from you, in any case!"

"I...is that so?" I managed, completely off balance by this girl. "But I'm-"

"That makes _no_ difference to me," she countered intently, stepping closer to me and staring into my eyes. "You accepted... Well, if extraordinary beings won't appear for those who seem friendly but hide intolerant natures behind such masks, what does it say for people who seem aloof and unapproachable already? You're pretty amazing in that regard, because you had every reason to, but _didn't_ judge! So I accept you, and more than those people we left behind - it's their loss if they're that stupid!" And then, shocking me so much I would have fallen over if she hadn't made it impossible, she stepped right up to me and hugged me tightly.

Her frame was strong enough to keep me from tipping over, but I reflexively put my own arms around her. For all of her energy and bravado, she felt small, almost fragile. Even if her grip was almost crushing, she was still a girl my own age.

It did not take long to realize I could get very used to this sensation. "If... After all you've done and shown me, how could I not accept you as well ... Haruhi?" I wondered.

She sighed in contentment, relaxing in my arms as I firmed my stance, putting strength back into my knees. After what she'd been through, wouldn't she be stressed, too? Running away from home, having an argument like that with her parents... Hadn't I wanted to maintain this aspect of my life at Kitago? If it had cost her so much, I was going to do my utmost to respect that!

And I'd be able to see Nagato and Asahina-san, too? Come to think of the girl I still owed a book to... Wasn't she also at this school?

"Also," Suzumiya, ah, no. That is, _Haruhi_. "Also," she said, "I took that library book from you. We'll have to return it before it's late."

The only way the situation could be more perfect was-

And at that moment, the door opened, Koizumi thoughtfully continuing from whatever he was saying in the hall mid-word, "-ould be right in- Oops!"

"Oh, my!" Asahina-san exclaimed, giggling.

Haruhi released me and straightened up, her face red as she faked a cough, unable to hide a smirk. "Well," she declared, "it's only fair that you get to say hello to Kyon as well, Mikuru-chan, Yuki- I suppose we might as well all have lunch together, shouldn't we?"

"So many new recruits!" Koizumi exclaimed.

"Hmm, sure, sure," Haruhi agreed with a grin. "Okay, and on that note, I say that we change the policy. 'Transfer students only' sounds too discriminatory!"

"Don't we need to put that to a vote?" I wondered. After everything I had been through that day, I must have been in mild shock, still.

"Mikuru-chan, Yuki?" Haruhi posed, prompting both of the girls peeking in through the doorway to nod faintly. They hadn't gotten their new Hikami Gakuen uniforms yet, either, my dazed mind noted. "Well - majority rule!"

"That is enough for us to officially be recognized as a club!" Koizumi agreed, gesturing the two girls in the hall inside the room.

"Great! Then there's still time for us to change the name of the club! How about 'SOS Brigade'?"

"Hey, hey, you can't just-"

"Majority rule!" she declared with a wide grin, eyes shining.

"...alright," I allowed, unable to resist smiling back.

Sometimes, we can have our dreams. And if Haruhi was willing to work so hard on making mine come true, the least I could do is return that favor. Wasn't that right?

* * *

Author's notes: I hope, despite the unpleasant topic, that this story can be enjoyed. I'd like to thank the Soulriders who helped me write this, and especially Sarsaparilla for giving me the inspiration to try writing this story in the first place.

Thank you for reading!


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